We’re starting to book weddings for spring and even some summer weddings as well. This was a winter February wedding that took place this week. I wasn’t sure about the gold ribbon at first (a client request), but I think they came out looking classy if I do say so myself.

Even though Mark is back, the business is slow to ramp back up. For one, the oven at the restaurant broke so that is setting us back with wholesale orders as well as the Brooklyn Flea (we had to cancel on today, among other reasons to do with Mark being out of town). Let’s hope the oven got fixed today as this week has been a financial loss for us. Thank god I am working even if I’m feeling overworked. At least Mark has had lots of free time to spend with the kids this weekend. Sledding, birthday parties, a trip to the aquarium. I’ve been stuck inside.

They say that this is the snowiest February on record in NYC history. Something about almost 40 inches falling this month alone. I think that’s enough snow now, don’t you? And please no snow storms in March (or god forbid, April. Yes, it’s happened). Then we’ll really get pissed off.

From the sounds of it, this week was a shitty week for a lot of people. I don’t know what’s going on in the universe, but I think we’re all due for some good luck all around. Maybe as we shut the door on February this weekend, we can leave all the bad stuff behind as we head into March. Oh, did you know that were in the middle of a blizzard again today? Snow day, and the schools are closed as of this morning which leaves working parents all over the city scrambling to make arrangements.

But things are feeling a bit more normal around here. For one, Mark is back! He decided to leave early to dodge the snowstorm and we’re all glad he did because the snow is killer. His dad seems to have stabilized somewhat, though he has a long way to go and will be in the hospital for quite a while so we’re all glad to have him back. We need him here. I’m still not in great shape and I’d taken on freelance work this week with killer deadlines because we really need the money. So for now, chasing the non-corporate dream is put on hold. You gotta do what you gotta do to put food on the table, buy medicine and pay for co-pays at the doctor’s office, take your kid to ballet classes and buy presents for all the birthday parties coming up (soooo many birthdays).

And yes, the bob and bangs are back. No more Shaun Cassidy hair for little C.

In the middle of this weird week we met the girls’ first cousin. My brother, his new wife and baby were in town from California to meet with our side of the family for the first time. The girls love babies and aside from the fact that they looked absolutely HUGE next to him and decidedly un-babyish (um, yeah, Claudine is still my “baby”), you soon forget what it’s like to have a baby again in the house. The intent stares, the gurgling, the flailing arms, the frequent naps, the smiles that can light up a room, but most of all, the non talking. Good lord, I had forgotten that babies and little toddlers can’t speak in words. Our house is full of chatter from the girls all day long and aside from the occasional cry, I had forgotten how quiet babies can be. Yes, it was nice to have a baby in the house again.

It’s quiet now. I am thankful that Tuesdays are one of the the days that our babysitter comes in. I’m thankful for our neighbors for walking Mia to school this morning so I didn’t have to haul both kids out in the rain. Thanks to all who voiced concerns and emailed. Mark made it safe and sound up there and is with his sister and uncle. Not surprisingly, it’s hard going through hospital red tape to get any kind of answers, but there might be some small signs of hope. Even so, his dad has a long way to go even if he comes out of this and the unknown of what is happening now or the near future is daunting.

I slept for a good 9 hours with the help of codeine-laced cough syrup and I’m feeling a bit better though the rib injury will probably take some time to heal – that is the thing that is most bothersome right now. I did go to the doctor yesterday and I’m going on another round of antibiotics so hopefully the coughing will cease sometime soon and make it tolerable.

I woke up to sounds of the girls fighting over something. That is not new, but they went to sleep last night without any fuss and worked on some drawings the first thing this morning. Believe it or not, it is now hard to tell Mia and Claudine’s drawings apart. What I am observing is that little Claudine is copying Mia’s drawing style and her people have evolved again. She is also drawing other objects like flowers, birthday cakes, butterflies and cats. The first 2 drawings are Claudine’s (and the figures with the funny feet are actually mermaids. See? They have fish tails and the second girl is on a swing surrounded by flowers). The last drawing is Mia’s. She is reading and writing up a storm now, putting signs all over the house…

A big thank you for all your thoughts and well wishes. It makes a difference.

These are some photos from our weekend, which was actually quite nice with a few outings and milder, sunny weather. It almost felt spring-like. Almost. Things haven’t really changed in Mark’s dad’s condition, which is to say that it isn’t very good news. Mark decided to push up his trip a few days and he’s leaving in an hour. The weather does not look good and there is snow in the forecast starting tonight and all week upstate, and if you know anything about me you know that I’m very uncomfortable with cars in general, especially driving in bad weather. It’s going to be an uneasy week.

The girls have not been away from Mark, ever. They’re quite attached to him since he’s around a lot and they’re both feeling stress from his departure. We’re not sure when he’ll be back. I’m not well either. I have bronchitis again after having finished my round of antibiotics 2 weeks ago and I’ve got a very painful cough-related injury in the ribs now. Weird. The girls say that they are going to “take care of me”. I just hope we have a peaceful few days.

[update: omg, you guys, this sharp pain is getting worse. It hurts to move and breathe. so much stuff going on. I better get super good karma bonus points for this.]

Mark’s dad is in the hospital. He is on life support in critical condition. He is currently not conscious. Mark and his sister will travel to be with him in the next few days. Please keep him in your thoughts.

I walked down a street yesterday afternoon that I haven’t walked down in well over 10 years. Has that ever happened to you? You haven’t given a place any thought at all, but when you happen to encounter it by chance, you realize how permanently etched into your life it is as a link to memories of your past. This happened to me yesterday.

Greenwich Avenue. A relatively short street (in NYC terms) that runs diagonally from 6th Ave and 8th Street to 13th Street and 8th Ave. I walked this street a few times a day, almost every day for over a year. It was my preferred route from art school at Astor Place in the East Village to the apt of a certain boy who lived on 14th and 8th. NYC is like that if you’ve lived here long enough and if you grew up here as I did, you can map out your entire past through streets and landmarks. The city is big enough that it’s possible to not walk down particular streets or neighborhoods for years and years, so when I found myself on Greenwich Avenue yesterday, I just stood there, a bit paralyzed because I was not prepared to be flooded with all this “stuff”.

It was comforting to see that some of the places on this street were still standing 20 years later. The cave-like natural food restaurant with an entrance a few steps down from the sidewalk, the Italian restaurant, the long and narrow Indian restaurant, the store with the fun knick knacks, gifts and cards, Elephant and Castle, Tea & Sympathy, even the paper store that stood on the corner at the bottom of the street looked like it was there until recently. It’s now just a ghost of a boarded up building, but there’s evidence that maybe a fire took out its life not that long ago. Walking along I started looking for other places that I remembered, but was saddened to see that some were not there. The store where I was given a necklace as a gift. A cafe on the second floor that had a wood-paneled back room with elaborately carved mismatched tables and chairs. These held significant memories. These places were gone.

Sometimes timelines get crossed and I realized that some of my memories of this street are actually memories of 2 different people from 2 different decades. And this shook me out of my daydream and I picked up my pace as I headed to a new spot I hadn’t been to before to meet with friends.

But the city can do that to you. You’re constantly walking by places of significance, some etched in the past and some that are in the process of etching itself in. Ghosts are everywhere around you. Some days you can manage to walk by without thinking twice about it, other days you might make a quick reference in your head, and then there are days that it stops you in your tracks and sucks you down memory lane. How can you be nostalgic for a city that you already live in?

Sometimes, it happens.

Trying not to focus on how slow things are progressing on the ChangingMyCareer front. There have been many distractions and so much administrative stuff for the business to take care of, not to mention the hours it takes to respond to emails and inquiries every day. I’m doing a bit of drawing but not sure where it’s taking me. Instead, I’m trying to ride each day and trust the pace that things are taking, but still, it’s been quite challenging to find solid blocks of time to work on anything. I think if you have young kids, you’ll know what I mean. The day becomes so disjointed when one kid has to be dropped off and picked up every day and the other kid has an opposite schedule from the first. You learn really fast to work in 2-3 hour time chunks, which is not always conducive to productivity and sometimes not enough time to get anything rolling. It always kills me if I have to stop to go pick up the kid when I’m on some kind of roll, knowing that the momentum might be gone, but that is life as a working parent, isn’t it? We adjust.

We have never had full time childcare. We could never afford it. It’s always been about juggling work and family schedules for the last 6 years to make full time hours work on part time childcare. This is why it was such a relief when Mia started Kindergarten this year and why I’m excited to have some sort of predictable schedule in place once Claudine goes to school 4 days a week in September. It’s not a full day – the day ends at 2 for her and 3 for Mia, but still. It’s more stability in time than we’ve ever had.

This also will mean the end of our relationship with out part time nanny this summer. She has been with us for 6 years, 2 days a week, since Mia was 3 months old and I’m really not looking forward to the conversation that we’ll need to have. I am not so good with confrontations of that nature. It’s a big change for all of us and I can’t imagine being in a situation such as hers, to spend so much time with these kids, watching them grow up, helping them grow up, and then one day…gone.

Another holiday has come and gone. This year’s Valentine’s day really sneaked up on me. I had a busy week before our shipping day, Mia’s birthday, and all of a sudden I was over my head in cookies and cardboard boxes again. But everything made it out just fine – it always does, somehow. Through it all I actually had one or two days that I did not see the kids at all. To make it up to them I promised them a special Valentine’s breakfast, which ended up being these fresh baked muffins with lots of bacon. The sprinkling of coarse sugar on the top gives them a nice crunch.

Cranberry Walnut Muffins (makes 10 muffins)

1-1/3 cups sugar
6 Tablespoons butter, softened
1 egg, plus 1 egg white
1/2 cup plus 1 Tablespoon buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon orange extract
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2-1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1-1/3 cups fresh cranberries
1 cup roughly chopped walnuts
2 Tablespoons coarse turbinado sugar (optional)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Beat the butter and sugar in an electric mixer until fluffy and well-mixed. Gradually add the eggs, oil, buttermilk and orange extract (they should all be mixed together first). Slowly mix in the flour, baking powder and salt, mix until thoroughly combined. Fold in the cranberries and walnuts by hand. Divide the batter evenly between 10 muffin cups, either lined with muffin papers or sprayed with a nonstick spray. Sprinkle each muffin with a little coarse sugar, then bake on the top oven rack for about 25 minutes, or until completely cooked in the center. Cool for a few minutes before removing from the pan.