part 2

November 29, 2012 |  Category:   life me rambling

Hi. It seems as if maybe some of you were under the impression that I was closing down the blog. I’m not, but sometimes you need a break and sometimes you just don’t have anything worth sharing. I haven’t even picked up my camera very much in the last month. To be honest, all of November consisted of printing, trimming, collating and packaging calendars! That’s all I’ve been really doing all month long. I’m happy to say I raised way more money than I thought I would and distributed the funds to 7 different Sandy relief charities and 2 businesses that were destroyed. Thank you to everybody who bought a calendar this month which enabled us to do that.


But getting back to this space, I think I just need to retreat a little and I’ve been doing that lately. And you know what? It feels pretty nice. Just living life and going about your business, not so that you can blog, tweet or instagram about it later. I am getting a bit weary with the constant impulse to announce every little detail or event or happening in your life, good or bad. Maybe you can tell this about me or maybe you can’t, but I’m a fairly introverted person and sort of private in real life (but I’m completely comfortable being open about the things I do share). Every once in awhile when I stop to think about it, however, all of this “public journaling” (for a lack of a better word) can momentarily freak me out only because I suddenly feel vulnerable – and that’s the word that I think may best sum up this year for me. It wasn’t the worst, but it certainly wasn’t the best and I can honestly say that I have felt more scared, uncertain and vulnerable about life and the future than I have in a really long time. Some things in my life seem to be at a brink of transition. This isn’t the fear of getting old; nostalgia aside, I think I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin at this point, but I do have to say that I am feeling less confident and insecure about some things as I get older. I thought the opposite was supposed to happen? Maybe in the past I would have ruminated over these things here, but lately I haven’t felt entirely comfortable doing so.

It’s looking more and more like winter these days, stark and naked branches against the sky and a daily scramble to find mittens and hats on our way out the door. But when we went on a walk over Thanksgiving weekend we found this little stretch of trees in the woods that still had much of its red and yellow leaves intact on its branches. It seemed like the sun was just hovering over this little spot, illuminating the leaves in this little halo of golden light. I wanted to stay there for awhile, but the kids were running around, always wanting to move on to the next thing. It made me realize that Fall was over in the blink of an eye this year, faster than usual. We didn’t really get to enjoy the foliage all that much in its full glory in the city, or experience it fully immersed in colorful hills during day trips a little north like we always do every year. The hurricane had a lot to do with that I suppose – an unexpected disruption in the season – but we’re coming up on December and winter now. Time to retreat and cozy up, pull the blankets a little tighter around you, try to feel a little more secure and safe. The season is fitting. This is how I’m feeling these days.

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  • Lori @ Studio Waterstone November 29, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Lovely images. I totally get the need to pull back and breathe deeply. I recently did the same for a feature on my blog which had not missed a week in about 2 years – I was so burned out! A few folks were sad and want me to bring it back but it felt so GOOD to let it go. I hope you get the chance to enjoy life and get through the season without things hanging over you. You’ll end up refreshed, for sure.

  • Pamela November 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Good to have you back. Never feel pressured to blog! That’s what I love about this space — it’s genuine and organic. Come back whenever. We’ll be here. :-)

  • Jenna November 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    @Pamela Ha, but I never left! I was just thinking out loud whether the blog had run its course, as some things do. There is always an end…eventually, right? But instead, maybe things just evolve like life. The blog is always a reflection of life…

  • me November 29, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Seriously dude! I know what you mean, sometimes I just have to stare up at the ceiling in my room to force myself to just exist. No phone, tv, tablet, not even my dog:) Just me.

  • Jenna November 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    @me haha! I find myself staring at the ceiling a lot these days!

  • Dee November 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    I get it. I deactivated my fb account and I’m trying to leave it that way through the holidays. I need to pull back in other ways too. I realized how bad I’d gotten when my kids kinda rolled their eyes as I said, “wait a minute, I want to get a picture!”…

  • jaime @ sweet road November 29, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    It’s good to get away from blogging. Sometimes you just feel like you’ve run out of material and need to saturate in the non-blog world before you can come back!

  • Jeanette November 29, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    long time reader, first time commenter. i totally empathize with the need to retreat a little. i’m just selfishly sad b/c yours was one of the few voices on the internets that i never tired of, and i’ll miss the frequent updates. i particularly loved that your blog wasn’t all sponsored rainbows and unicorns in softly lit fields. :) ah well. guess your less frequent blog posts will be all the more awaited!

  • Jenna November 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    @Jeanette Hi! ha, I like the thought of sponsored rainbows and unicorns is softly lit fields (though I guess mine wouldn’t be sponsored, necessarily). This reminds me of the cornified versions of the girls school pictures which I usually post every year (but not this year).

  • dissertations November 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    You can do it,I know you can. Just be patient and everything will work out fine..

    Good luck!


  • linda November 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    beautiful photos as always!

  • Nan November 29, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    That first photo (top) is magnificent.

  • red November 30, 2012 at 12:24 pm

    That’s right, no cornified pictures this year! Those were great posts, but I understand the need to give the girls more privacy and to step away a bit. The past year I made an effort to reduce my screen time and put the phone down after feeling like it was my right hand. It’s definitely helped me feel more present for the people in my life (the ones I can actually touch) and it is really nice to “just be.” But, on the flip side, it’s crazy how hard it is to fight the urge to take a photo (or 20) and I do sometimes feel as if I have disappeared to others. No regrets though — it’s been good for my little family and me.
    Thanks as always for blogging as much or as little as you want. I may need to go cornify something now.

  • Peter Nguyen November 30, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    I think we talked about this before a while ago!

    I’m with you. I remember having a blog before there was even a word for blog (back in 1997) I would close down, restart, go anonymous, etc on every platform. Because I was afraid I was too busy writing about life rather than living it (a lot of times it was true)

    It wasn’t until recently when I really started to appreciate the art of making yourself scarce. It’s a natural reaction to the noise, and it also serves as a filter for keeping your quality up. Good work takes time, whether it’s a blog post, a product I’m making, even a tweet. We’ve gotten so used to filling the ether we feel like the world’s going to pass us by if we’re not contributing. Admittedly I’ve been freaking a bit because I haven’t posted on my blog in a week, but then I look at the posts I’m working on and realize it’s not a news site. And the less I’m hunched over my computer or iphone the more I can keep my head up looking at what’s in front of me.

  • Susan December 1, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    I was just thinking the same thing today, as we were christmas tree hunting. I was so concerned with photographing and sharing that my husband (who understands blogging and is very supportive) made a comment that we should just take in the moment. I’m usually the one saying that and it caught me off guard. Food for thought…worries me a bit.

  • Lakshmi December 5, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Yeah, I know how you feel. Maybe it’s that time of the year, maybe it’s that time in your life (and mine too!). But it feels right to be a little quiet, to not want to go out partying (not that I party a lot or even a little, really!), to want to read for hours, potter around the house, to keep the laptop turned OFF for hours.

    It feels right, I feel happy… and so I am going to go do it. I have gotten back to writing my blog but it’s a personal exercise and I am not rearing to go put my latest posts on FB and Twitter, or anything like that.

  • Lakshmi December 5, 2012 at 11:20 am

    The other truth is, everything changes. Who knows, come January and it could be that the blogging/vlogging/Instagramming, etc. are back in full force.

  • katie December 6, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    I’ve recently moved with my small family from a highly stimulating city environment to the far reaches of oceanic papua new guinea. Incredible. The detox of constant stimulation has been more intense and drawn-out than I could’ve imagined.
    One of the more fascinating aspects of being here has been in realising the ways that people relate and engage which each other, and the way information is shared and carried from one post to the next. Its warm and personable, often physical, and all about relationship-building.
    Has been incredible to put the camera away, forget the rapid pace of ‘online’ for a while. And to have my mind and and senses all present, in totality, in the one moment, without the abstract documentation angle always hovering. The people here would accept it no other way.
    Having said that, Jenna – I admire immensely your willingness to document uncertainty and vulnerability, and we all know you are a beautiful photographer!
    All the best in getting over the bump – which we can all relate to well – has been a true pleasure to wander and ponder through your pages. A gentle city fix for us from our wild isolated home. Tenkyu tru long PNG.