It’s so boring to keep talking about the weather, I know, but it’s 1 step forward, two steps back with this Spring. Didn’t I say that March could be cruel? But it’s also been the perfect analogy for the month I’ve been having (and maybe for some of you out there too, from what I read). Highs and lows, progress and setbacks. In the end though, things eventually normalize and settle. When you find that you’re still pointed in the same direction that you were headed before the most recent wave of events flung everything up in the air in a moment of confusion, then it should be confirmation enough that you’re headed in the right direction.
Self doubt and the fear of the unknown reveal the ugly side of self employment, at least for me. On the other side of the mirror, constant questioning and a future of possibilities puts a positive spin on those same states. Really just depends on which side you’re standing.
But there are signs of life and regrowth and spring if you look carefully. Never thought I would be so happy to spot the tips of bulbs pushing their way up from the ground, or the snowdrops that I would have missed if I was rushing around as usual. I don’t mean to sound like a self-help booklet, but sometimes it’s hard to keep pushing forward all the damn time, particularly when you’re not even certain where it is you’re suppose to go. But I tell you what…the grass is always greener – always – but it’s not all that it seems and often, it’s just a projection of what we want to see. I think it’s human nature to yearn for the things that we feel we are missing, whether it’s real, imagined or something that we just want. Sometimes you’re reminded of just how great your life is by other people who may yearn for something that is different in your life than what they have in theirs. By all accounts life is great, that much is true. But the constant quest to fill the holes that we perceive to be the keys to fulfillment and happiness is the fire that keeps us pushing forward. For some people, that fire burns too bright to ignore.
What I know for sure is that we all need people. We can’t do it alone. Even the zombie apocalypse tells me so (a Walking Dead reference, naturally).
Now, how’s that for vagueblogging?