Just another Saturday in Dumbo visiting the new Jane’s carousel right on the waterfront. It’s a beauty, yes? You can read more about the restoration and installation here.

We have 2012 calenders! And they’re are now available for sale here or here. Hope you like them!

I was waiting for the elevator at the Met Museum and the gentleman that was manning the elevator door that goes up to the roof garden asked me if I was alone. A bit thrown off, I answered “yes”. He then pressed further asking, “you’re not here with friends? Or your husband?”. I said, no. I was here alone, the husband was working and the kids were at camp. He wasn’t being creepy or anything, just making conversation. He then smiled and said, “Oh, you’re having some alone time. Some time off. I hear that.”

I can’t remember the last time I went to a museum alone. Usually it’s been with the family, or with friends, or as a chaperone for one of the kid’s field trip. But I have to say, it was really nice to walk around with no agenda except to be back in Brooklyn to pick up the kids from camp. I even sat in the heat on that rooftop garden and stared out at the hazy city skyline. Yeah, it was hot, unbelievably so, but the heat with that view was surreal, therefore the sensation of sitting there was really strange. And the Alexander McQueen exhibit? Beyond words. I had heard such lofty words things being thrown around like “life changing”, “the most powerful experience”, and I thought, really? But I can’t quite explain how it felt to be in those galleries and feel what I did, and you can’t even get a sense of the experience from photos or text. So I’ll just leave it at that. But I will say that I came away a bit envious and in complete awe at the passion and vision it takes to create such art. I hope to find it someday.

Miraculously, the rain ended on the day we took our bi-annual Storm King field trip with our preschool. If Fall was all about the leaves and the wild autumnal colors, then late May is all about the rambling green hills, made more lush by the recent rain, I’m sure (most of these shots were taken from a moving tram). The thing that hit me most about our trip this time was the smell. It hit you, strongly, the minute you stepped out of the car. It smelled like freshly cut grass, like sun, like green, like summer.

(ps…the Storm King website I redesigned is now live. pps…it’s meant to be a “temp placeholder” site until a bigger redesign can properly be done.)

I first met Jennifer, jewelry designer and owner of Odette New York, at the very first Brooklyn Flea 3 years ago. We were both vendors. We had just started our business and that day was our first time selling our products to any customers. Jennifer had started her jewelry line 2 years before, but we all bonded as first time vendors at the opening day in early April, in the cold outdoors, shivering, but excited to be part of this new thing called the Flea. While her stint at the Flea didn’t go beyond the first year, we’ve kept in touch and it’s been a pleasure to see her business flourish over the years.

When asked what I wanted for my big birthday last year, I responded with earrings from Odette. I think Jennifer’s jewelry has a very distinct and special style. She hand draws all her designs first and translates them into wax before casting them in metals. For my birthday this year, I picked up 3 more pieces to add to my collection, including this stunning necklace that is yet to be available for sale (but soon!) so I feel super lucky that Jennifer made one for me. She also added 2 little surprise necklaces for the girls – a bunny and a bird – and the girls were thrilled when Mark also handed them gifts on my birthday.

I finally made it over to her studio last night, which is in and of itself an inspiring place, a collaborative set of studio spaces separated by a little courtyard that make you feel like you’re in Venice, California and not Williamsburg/Greenpoint, Brooklyn. We have a small business owners support group where we gather and eat and talk about the various issues that we face as small business owners. Jennifer hosted last night in her studio (the flower shots are from an adjoining floral studio). Love all these collaborative work spaces here in Brooklyn (including our kitchen!). It just kind of proves that despite the crazy cost of living here in the city, people are making it work. Every time we meet, we leave a little less alone and a lot more inspired.

God, I was cold yesterday. Didn’t think I would be since the forecast said it would be around 55 degrees. I didn’t know that it was so rainy outside, so the girls were under prepared for the wet weather. I went with Claudine on her class field trip to MoMA and as we were walking the 10 or so blocks to the train station, her little feet got wet inside her non-waterproof boots. I kept thinking about how uncomfortable and cold she must be wearing wet tights all day inside her boots. When we did finally get home, her feet were cold and wrinkled.

Taking 14 preschoolers to MoMA is a good idea in theory, but the museum was super crowded. Still, there were good moments when I walked hand in hand with Claudine and looked at some paintings and some of the Picasso guitar collages that were on exhibit. It’s like she was really looking at them, pointing out shapes and things that were going on in the paintings and sculptures and trying to make sense of what she was seeing in the art. It was really cool. She even imitated some of the shapes of the sculptures, not with her hands, but with her mouth, stretching her lips like the oblong, surf board-shaped sculpture made of stone. What a funny kid. Her interpretation of things always surprise me.

As I was with her today, I was reminded that this is why we choose the life that we live, so that we can have the flexibility to do things like go on field trips with our kids. But I have to say, this whole life/work balance thing feels strained these days. As the girls have gotten older, Mark and I have just gotten busier and we’re working more than ever before. Scheduling play dates, escorting them to after school activities and signing them up for sports seem impossible to coordinate with our current schedules. While we are busy, I’m around them a lot since I work from home, but I would be lying if I said that I was totally present when I’m with them. It’s more likely that I’m thinking about deadlines or design challenges or emails that I need to write.

They say that these years, our years, are the prime money earning years. Maybe that’s true, but I also find it a scary thought. I do feel like we’ve finally reached a certain comfort level where we’re not really struggling so much anymore, but if these are in fact our power earning years, I’m feeling the pressure to work and earn more. It’s so hard to say no, but it also means that you risk tipping that balance.

It occurred to me while reading something the other day that we’re making early impressions on our kids as role models for the working parent. I hadn’t really thought about it like that before. Whether you’re a working parent or a stay-at-home parent, this might shape the way our kids might view parenthood later on. Suddenly, I feel a bit more responsible to balance out our work/life situation. I would never want the girls to think that we didn’t have time for them because we’re so busy, but I already know that they think I’m busy “a lot”. I asked Claudine yesterday what she thought my job was. Both the girls are well aware of what Mark does, but my job is a lot more ambiguous. She said that I sit at my computer all day and move things around. Sounds about right.

Something sort of weird is happening as I get older. I’m becoming less confident as a designer. Shouldn’t the opposite be happening? I know that some of my friends are totally rolling their eyes at me. I know because I’ve seen you do it, but I’m totally dead serious when I say that it’s become an issue to the point that it sometimes feels crippling. I don’t know if it’s because there are so many younger, more talented and more creative designers out there, or if it’s because I always felt like I reluctantly fell into this career and never had my heart in it, or if it’s because I feel a bit out of touch with what’s going on in the design world, a world that I don’t really feel a part of in the first place. It takes effort and time to be on top of things, to be out there, to stay relevant and attend events and conferences. I just don’t have the time – or to be bluntly honest – the interest. This isn’t about talent. I know I have a body of work and experience of over 14 years in the biz to stand behind, but I think I’ve always dealt with low self esteem issues throughout my life in varying degrees. It just surprises me that it’s still something that I have to fight against, that I still have to work really hard on building self confidence. All of this still, at age 40. I thought this stuff was supposed to get easier.

I constantly think that I want out of this career. It’s true that I do eventually, but if I’m really being honest with myself then I know that a large part of it is because I’m afraid of failing and not being able to deliver on a project. But I’m learning. I actually failed at something quite recently. Normally it would have haunted me and I would have obsessed over it, but I just let it go and didn’t make a monumental deal out of it with a big fat FAIL sign over my head. The world didn’t shake and I was able to brush away any fleeting thoughts that I totally suck as a designer and then I quickly moved on. No time to dwell.

When I look at the way Claudine draws, I see a lot of myself in her. It’s scary. Already at age 4, she has this need to draw everything exactly as she sees it in her head, and when she can’t she gets extremely frustrated, sometimes to the point of meltdowns. As some of you may have seen, she has this incredible ability to draw for her age, really detailed stuff, but when she makes “mistakes”, she’ll wail that it isn’t perfect over and over again. I tell her that it doesn’t have to be perfect, that her drawings are wonderful and that she can try again if something isn’t working for her, but it’s often no consolation. She’ll cry because she can’t get the left leg of the girl she’s drawing to realistically look like it’s pushing the scooter, but bloody hell, she’s 4! Of course she’s having a hard time with that! I don’t know where this idea of “perfect” comes from. It’s not anything that we teach the kids. Because I know how much pressure I put on myself as a kid, I’m pretty careful about not expressing any expectations, being overly critical or pressuring the girls into anything. I worry about Claudine’s high self expectations at such an early age and her fear of making mistakes on paper with pencil.

I laugh at the irony of the fact that I’m dealing with the same issues.

Many of you have commented on how detailed Claudine’s drawings are for a 3 (now 4) year old. Can you tell which of my girls drew these pictures? Sometimes I can’t. Sometimes Mia can’t either. She actually picked up Claudine’s drawing of the cat and asked out loud “is this my drawing?”

Claudine has an unbelievable knack for copying drawings for someone her age. This is how she learned how to draw people by the time she was 2 – by copying Mia’s drawings almost exactly (sometimes to the annoyance of Mia). She also has this weird ability to write her letters in flip mirror image. I’ve seen her write whole words this way, without hesitation and without thinking. I don’t know what it means, if anything, but it’s interesting to watch.

By the way…Mia’s drawings are on top, and Claudine’s copies of Mia’s drawings are below.

“When you’re a grown up, all there is to do is talk and work, drink coffee, eat spicy food and watch kids. Booooring!”

“Do you know how to relax?” – she asked me this one day.

“Look, a plump! A plump up in the sky!!” – referring to a blimp (but I like plump better, don’t you?)

“Some farts are bumpy.”

“I wish I was twenteen so I could live by myself and do what I want. It’s also my best number”.

“Nice boobs” – says she as she walks by me.

“Can you tie my booby traps on?” – referring to her shell bikini top that came with her hula costume.

“I wish for a baby mermaid with a rainbow tail that swims in our bathtub that’s short, not humongous, so I can watch her better.”

Related: Overheard in Seattle, random quotes 1

Have you ever seen anything more wonderous than this display of Fall glory? I’m telling you, this is exactly what makes New England famous for its Fall foliage (although New York isn’t technically considered New England, is it? Eh, technicalities). You might remember our first trip to Storm King when Mia was in preschool 2 years ago. We vowed to go back soon, but we didn’t make it back until the kids’ preschool took their annual Storm King field trip, this time with Claudine as a student.

Yeah, it was pretty cold out, but the leaves, oh the leaves! I would gladly suffer through the chill to be surrounded by these leaves again. I think this time it trumped the art. NYC is only now just turning colors for real, but a few hours north it’s at its prime. It didn’t even look real, like movie set leaves with unreal colors. For contrast, here’s what Storm King looks like in May. It’s a totally different place.

(ps. I really like that more than half of the teachers at Claudine’s school are men (you can see 2 of them with her in the photo above). Some of them were Mia’s teachers as well (and now she’s got a male teacher in first grade this year too), but while Claudine’s been in toddler classes with some of the same male teachers, she made sure to never talk or make eye contact with them. For NEARLY 2 YEARS, sheesh. Needless to say, being in school has really helped her get over her shyness/fear of guys and she loves her teachers, all of them. Which you know, is a good thing because I totally envisioned her going through the whole school year ignoring and giving her guy teachers the cold shoulder.)