There was once a time, years ago, when it seemed like all my friends were boys. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but there is also nothing like hanging out with a girl friend or a small group of ladies that you feel totally comfortable with. I remember desperately missing that in my life and wondering if I would ever have those “best friend” relationships that meant the whole world when I was a kid. Hearing Mia list all her best friends reinforces that feeling that we really do crave and need those kinds of companionship, even at an early age – but it isn’t always easy to find now, is it?

When Mia was a baby, I found a group of new mom friends in the neighborhood who I’d meet with every week. It was rather easy to meet other new parents here even if you weren’t particularly outgoing or good at reaching out to strangers. I don’t know if you ever forget your first mom friends. The first year or so of having your first baby is a big bonding experience. Even if you don’t have anything else in common, you have this, and being new parents is a big enough commonality that it can trump anything else. I don’t want to say that I had a friend “type” in my pre-baby years, but I did, only because common interests bring people together to the same places, whether it’s at school, a job, or a community of like-minded people. So when I started meeting people outside of the artist/designer/musician/chef/computer geek types – people who were lawyers and bankers and who had other corporate type jobs – it was sort of a novel thing as far as friendships go.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I’ve been marveling at how rich my friendships have become in the last 2 or so years. For many years it was all about being friends with other neighborhood parents. It was just easier to socialize this way and in many cases, the only way to socialize. It was great and fun and one of my fondest memories of being a new parent. These friendships shaped the way that I approached parenthood and they meant the world to me. But I’ve recently realized that many of those friendships have naturally drifted. I’m a totally sappy person and I would never want to admit this, but I guess sometimes friendships just run their course. Maybe we’ve moved on.

These days I have made most of my friendships online. It is both totally strange if you think about it, but totally amazing. I feel lucky enough to live in a city where many people will breeze through on various business and visits, so that these online friendships become real life friendships too. I’ve also gravitated towards people with the same interests again. Now that I’m a parent of school age kids, I don’t feel like my conversations need to center around my children and in fact when I am out with friends, I don’t necessarily want to talk about my kids. Many of my newer friends aren’t even parents!
 
I’m in love with all the friendships I have made over the past 2 years, many of which I’ve written about on this blog. To go out at night with ladies like Anna, Jen and Tamera, to plan these get togethers even though Jen and Tamera don’t even live in NY, to wander around the East Village on a Saturday night from one place to the next, and to sit around and talk about lady things. To feel a bit like my own person, not someone’s mom, for a long evening.
 
But when I get back home, I get back home to this. The girls never fail to leave me a good night note to place on top of my computer. Love. I finally feel like I’ve achieved some kind of balance in my life.

This is our last bundle of goodies from my friend Tami who owns and designs clothes through her company Ismodern. We’ve been very lucky to have Tami give the girls a set of clothes from each season since I met her back in 2005. It’s always a burst of color when we open the boxes and pull out each item of clothing…and thank god. If it were up to me, the girls would only wear solids and grays because that’s what I gravitate towards without even thinking, so Tami always provides a welcome punch of color and pattern to their wardrobe. Aside from the generous packages every season, I’ve been happy to have supported her business by purchasing clothes, gifts and referring anyone who asks where the girls get their clothes (Claudine’s fuzzy white poncho from the New Year’s Day post is from Tami and I just had to buy one for Mia because it is so very cozy).
 
But…this is Tami’s last collection and our last package as she is shutting down Ismodern as soon as she clears her inventory (so if you want to get shopping, now is the time). Sadly, the children’s clothing industry isn’t what it used to be like it was back in the mid-2000s, and the economy isn’t what it used to be either. We’ll miss these clothes when the girls outgrow them, but I’m excited to see what Tami does next!

Looking at these photos from the lakehouse this past summer is like being enveloped in warm sunshine – a welcome feeling right now, not just because it’s winter (although it’s not – the mild temps still persist in the city), but also because it’s a happy time and I need all the happy time thoughts in my life right now.
 
But there’s another reason why I dug up these photos from the summer. Our friends Sara and Thor officially adopted their foster daughter who came to live with them and their son a year ago. Do you remember my Pink Party in the Woods post? It was to celebrate this little girl’s birthday. We weren’t able to show any photos of Rylie or even reveal her name – until now. So all the photos from the lakehouse, of her pink party in the woods, of the weekend that we spent at their house on the San Juan Islands in Washington, had to be cropped or shot in a way as not to show her face.
 
I can’t even tell you how happy I am for my friends and what an honor it is to know them and witness this incredible journey over the past year.
 
If you’d like a little piece of the Jensens in your life, Sara is having a fab.com sale on her tote bags (the pomegranate print!) and new fragrances. Help support my friends who, like us, are also a dual freelance income family trying to make a living on their terms while raising 2 awesome kids. If you don’t have a Fab account follow this link and I’ll invite you (ok, full disclosure – I get credits by inviting people…but you should have a fab account anyway because you’ll thank me later and then we both win!).
 

Oh, and Sara sent me this necklace in the mail a few days ago. It’s half of a “Best Friends” heart necklace, kind of like the kind you’d give your friend in high school. True, I’ve only known Sara for 18 months, but there are some people who you feel like you’ve known your whole life. And I’m totally wearing the necklace right now. I’m hereby declaring it my good luck charm to ward off negative spirits and bad things that are swirling around me right now. Take that, bad stuff!!
 

Now that Miss C is in Kindergarten, this is the first time Claudine has had friends of her own – not the little siblings of Mia’s friends or neighbors in the building, but friends of her very own. For the past 3 weeks she’s been telling Mia all about them, planning her little gathering of a few friends from her class and drawing their names and pictures on paper over and over again. Being as shy as she is, it’s sort of a big deal to watch her pal around with her new friends at school, seeing her run to catch up with another girl, and walking and talking about whatever it is two 5 year olds talk about.
 
All day before the party Mia kept saying “I can’t believe the house is going to be full of little Kindergarteners! They’re so cute!”. You kind of forget how big a deal age is when you’re a little kid. Even being older than someone by a few months means that you’re older than them.
 
As it turns out, it was pretty cute to have a bunch of kindergarten girls in the house. We made tiaras and bracelets, iced and decorated cupcakes. It was Claudine’s first real birthday party where she chose the guest list. A pretty good makeup birthday to Miss C’s original sick birthday, an illness that lingered for the better part of a week and one that both of us can’t quite shake off. In the end, maybe the excitement was a bit too much because she sort of broke down at the end of the day, having missed a nap that she’s been taking every day since she’s been sick. Early bedtime. Another day of being 5 tomorrow.

Nothing like picking blackberries down the street and making a pie with it the same day. The kids (Lecia’s and ours) helped pick the berries and then Lecia’s older son videotaped Mark making the pie so that he could remember the recipe (and look, you can see another view of the pie here). We grilled and ate dinner on the patio under lights while watching the sun go down. It’s moments like these that make you reflect and think, “oh, that was a good summer” now that the summer is gone gone gone.

Oh, I’m not done yet with photos from our trip. So much more to show, but you know…life happens, the beginning of school, checking in on my mom, figuring out our Fall schedules. It seems busy. As Fall should be.

But I still find myself thinking about our trip which does really seem like a million years ago, so much so that Mia keeps shaking her head with disbelief saying, “did we really go to San Francisco last month?” From my obsessive weather watching, the temps are going to drop starting tomorrow and it does feel like summer is slipping away. Looking at the photos from our trip gives me a sense of calm and also a sense of longing. I wonder why we connect with some places and other places we don’t. You already know that my lack of emotional connection to Portland confuses the hell out of me, and I have to say that I wasn’t surprised that San Francisco didn’t bowl me over with its awesomeness. I really do love the city and we had a super great time, but it never had in past visits and that didn’t change this time. So what is it about Seattle and the Pacific Northwest? I don’t know. I think it has to do with something about my youth, my long term history with the region, family ties, some fantasies and a few unrealized dreams. Maybe a special place does that for you too?

Ironically, as we were leaving my friend Lecia’s house in Seattle where we stayed a few days once again this year, she and her boys were flying out to NYC. She wrote this about their trip: “Seattle is our home, but we left a piece of our hearts in New York City.” We leave a piece of our hearts every time we leave the Northwest.

We started the summer making s’mores with the Jensens at their NY lake house and we ended the summer making s’mores with the Jensens on their tiny island in the NW. When we first pulled up to their house, the girls asked if they had moved since they were only used to seeing them in NY. It’s funny how kids perceive things. You forget that their world can be so small sometimes and this is why, above all other luxuries we really can’t afford, I’ve made it a priority to travel with them once a year, even if it’s only to visit family on the West Coast. While I never traveled as a kid, Mark and his family did while they lived in the Middle East. It’s obvious, even after all these years, how much of an impression it made on him as a young kid.

We didn’t really travel much as a family when I was a kid. I do, however, remember a few summer weekend outings spent in Montauk or the Poconos, renting out a group of motel rooms with other family friends and their children. It didn’t really matter where we were, really. It was all about hanging out with friends, like on a really long playdate, and a break from routine and everyday life.

These trips sometimes remind me of those childhood vacations full of families and kids. It’s one sort of vacation when you go to a place as a tourist not knowing anyone, but it’s another trip altogether when you spend it with a family who make the place home, no matter how many times you’ve been there. It’s a different, and I would say, more meaningful experience.

What is it about vacations that make it feel like it happened a million years ago once you get home? This was our first day on the San Juan Islands with our friends Sara and Thor and it feels so long ago even though it was the weekend before last. It’s actually a cool and rainy day here in NY. Prelude to what Fall might bring. School starts for the girls in 2 days, but first…more photos of the island to come…

Have you ever stood around with your old friends and surveyed the kids you’ve produced and thought, “gee, we made these. We have kids. OMG, we’re adults”. This happened quite a bit on our San Francisco trip as we reconnected with some old friends we haven’t seen in at least 10 years. We met our old college friend Jeremiah and his family at the Exploratorium and geeked out in the monochromatic room (a room where there is no color unless you shine a white light on things. Trippy) and tried to keep track of 4 kids under 8 years old. An impromptu dinner invitation at their house in the Mission resulted in Mark ending up cooking the meal because he’s just so much faster at chopping up vegetables than any one of us.

The next evening we managed to have dinner at Chez Panisse without the kids thanks to an invitation for reservations AND babysitting from one of Mark’s old co-workers who used to work the line with him at a restaurant in Soho back in the late 90s when they were both starting out in the business. Melissa and her husband both worked at Chez Panisse for a number of years. And lastly our last morning in San Francisco was spent at Dynamo Donuts, the *excellent* donut shop that Mark’s old Pastry Chef boss back in NY opened up a few years ago (more photos on that later).

We’re actually in Seattle now but have more San Francisco photos to share. That trip was all about connecting with people we’ve known for a long time, some for nearly 20 years. Quite a trip.