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10 years

10 years

March 20, 2018 |  Category:   life me rambling

All winter, I’d been keenly aware that the 10 year anniversary of this blog was coming up in March. I knew I wanted to write a post to commemorate it, but it felt like a daunting task. Like anything in life when you’re marking a significant milestone, the weight of self-reflection is heavy. 10 years. Where were we then? Where are we now? When I read the very first post on this blog, I think back to what a scary and confusing time that was, when the economy was tanking and Mark got laid off from a new job after finally finding the motivation to leave his long-time restaurant pastry chef position. But there’s also an optimism and excitement in… CONTINUE READING

That time I worked as an elf at Macy’s Santaland.

That time I worked as an elf at Macy’s Santaland.

December 22, 2017 |  Category:   favorite posts holidays me remembering

Happy holiday, friends! I wrote this piece on Medium last year and thought I might share it again here this holiday season. Enjoy, and see you in 2018. —– I was 19. Young, in art school, and living in the East Village. A friend of mine had told me about a seasonal job that he had for the past couple of years and recommended that I go in for an interview when Macy’s put out a casting call in November. It paid well, he said, and at $10 an hour the pay indeed seemed like a fortune at the time. Plus, if you did a good job being an elf, you were invited back every season and your pay increased… CONTINUE READING

On sibling grief and becoming an only child

On sibling grief and becoming an only child

May 26, 2017 |  Category:   family favorite posts me

Two years ago, on the first Mother’s Day after my brother died, my mom confided in me that she didn’t know how to answer the question,”how many children do you have?” I told her that the answer would always be two, no matter what. It’s definitely a question that gives you pause after losing an immediate family member. At best, it delivers a potentially awkward moment in the conversation; at worst it can catch you off guard and open up wounds. It’s a pretty innocent question after all – to ask someone if they have any siblings – yet the answer isn’t quite so clear for some people, is it? Do I still have a brother? Am I an only… CONTINUE READING

reawakening the inner artist

reawakening the inner artist

November 1, 2016 |  Category:   art + design life me

In many ways, this year hasn’t gone the way that I thought it might. I’m not sure what I expected when my start up job ended back in May and I transitioned back to freelance and our bakery biz, but I thought I would have more time than I ended up having. But as it goes, you can neither predict nor totally control life. There are many things that I can’t cross off my list this year, but the one thing I can cross off is that I’ve started to draw and paint again. I wasn’t even sure I knew how anymore, but as it turns out, drawing is a bit like riding a bike – you never really forget… CONTINUE READING

I’m a recovering perfectionist, and some thoughts about failure.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, and some thoughts about failure.

May 9, 2016 |  Category:   life me rambling

As an (overly) ambitious and driven person, accepting failure is hard. Finding the lessons to be learned from those failures, however, is not too difficult to do. The truth is – and this may sound ridiculous – I have not “failed” at very many things in my life and in a way I felt I was overdue. I know this is a really weird way to look at things, but hear me out. It’s an important lesson that I need to pass on to my daughters and one that’s taken me nearly a lifetime to learn. We can’t live in fear of failure because failure is a part of life. If it’s not something you’ve gone through and experienced, you won’t… CONTINUE READING

Some things I’ve learned after one year on the job

Some things I’ve learned after one year on the job

June 11, 2015 |  Category:   life me

More than ever before, I feel quite split into multiple work personalities. If I’m feeling critical, I might say that I’m avoiding a commitment one way or the other. If I’m feeling generous, I might say that I’m just making sure that we’re not putting all of our eggs in one basket by pursuing all opportunities. Jobs, the economy, clients, customers, trends – they can all be fickle, so it’s hard to say no while opportunities still manage to come my way. It’s that freelance mentality. When you’ve created this life supported by hobbling together various businesses and freelance projects for so long, it’s quite scary to cut the cord and jump all the way in.   But I think… CONTINUE READING

seeing the signs – when everything points to here

seeing the signs – when everything points to here

November 7, 2014 |  Category:   life me

So this new job of mine officially became A JOB this month, and by all caps, I mean I went on payroll in November. Big stuff around here considering I haven’t been on payroll anywhere in 11 years. And the thing that clinched it? Health insurance.   Obamacare hasn’t worked out well for families like ours – middle class, freelancers, a family of four in NYC. When ACA rolled out this time last year, I largely ignored it because I quickly realized that the health insurance that I had through Freelancers Union, a plan that I had switched over to 4 years ago to save on skyrocketing premiums, was still a better deal than the plans that were on available on… CONTINUE READING

clearing the fog

clearing the fog

October 5, 2014 |  Category:   life me

There are days when I think I’m crazy for trying to do too much. I don’t usually get to everything that I’d like to do in any given week (close enough, however) and this is almost always a set up for failure, yet I can’t help myself. Maybe it’s a great quality to have – ambition and drive, blind faith that it will all get done – or maybe it’ll be my greatest downfall. Overcommitment. Crash and burn. I haven’t yet and this fuels the perception that it can always be done, so I push on a little more; pile more things on to the list; say yes to everything.   I will say that even though this has been… CONTINUE READING

keeping afloat

keeping afloat

September 15, 2014 |  Category:   life me

Nothing like getting knocked back a few pegs in the last week to remind you that you’re on a long road toward any kind of normalcy. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m feeling totally lost. I’m trying not to hold in so much anger at the world either, but this year has totally knocked the wind out of me and it started months before it culminated in our loss. I don’t really know who I am right now; I don’t even know what identity the business is anymore. We’re barely keeping afloat.   Can I tell you a little story? A few weeks before our trip in early August, the girls and I were doing errands in the neighborhood.… CONTINUE READING

a different view

a different view

July 11, 2014 |  Category:   life me

This is my view 2 days a week. You’ve probably seen it on Instagram if you follow me there.   So this office thing…was something that was loosely in the works for a few months now, but still a bit unexpected when it happened. Earlier in the year I’d been contemplating some moves that would potentially be a transition away from what I’ve been doing career-wise for the past 18 years. Nothing that was definitive or that held any answers to what I was going to do with my life, but enough of a shift to feel like I was finally doing something about it after years of feeling stuck.   I’m one of those people who can work perfectly… CONTINUE READING

34 days gone by

34 days gone by

June 29, 2014 |  Category:   life me

I don’t want to turn this into a grief blog, but then again, if I’m not writing about what I’m feeling, what am I writing about instead? The way I see it, it can go one of two ways. I can understand how some people might want to alienate themselves from everything and everyone they know after a loss like this. Sometimes the only thing that makes sense is retreating into your own world and starting over. It feels completely fake to put on a “normal” front every day for the benefit of your children, your family, your neighbors, your friends and clients. It’s like you do this so they can feel comfortable in your presence. You know, avoid the… CONTINUE READING

reinventing yourself, and rambling thoughts on career change

reinventing yourself, and rambling thoughts on career change

April 30, 2014 |  Category:   life me rambling

I was presented with an interesting question on two separate occasions recently which really made me stop and think about my perception of myself. “What do you want?” In the context of jobs, deals or my career, it’s not exactly a question that I get asked since it’s usually about the needs of the client or the project. Usually it’s something along the lines of “what can you bring to the table? What can you do for this project?” But what do I want? It’s such a simple question, but a deceptively hard one to answer.   My particular issue has always been that I don’t really know what I want (well I kind of do in a big dream… CONTINUE READING

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