Claudine: “An inside out fart doesn’t make any noise, but it smells. It smells the same as a not inside out fart which sounds like ppppffffffftt.”
Claudine: “I wish there were marshmallows all over the world. So that if we fall, we could just bounce bounce bounce.”
Mark: “We’re having burgers, fries and salad.”
Mia: “Yum. An American dinner.”
Mia: “My feet are very walkative right now.”
Claudine: “Are you going to sell us when you move?”
Me: “what do you mean, sell us”?
Claudine: “Sell us. Sell the kids. That’s why kids don’t live with their moms and dads when they grow up. I think you probably sell us.”
Claudine: “Are girls fashionable?”
Claudine: “Everyday you do something, even when you die. Because even that day you’re doing something. You’re dying.”
Mia: “I’m joining the foil straightening club. I’m really good at it.”
Claudine: “If you’re glow in the dark you don’t make any shadows.”
Claudine: “I feel like a grandma. Everything hurts.”
More random quotes here.
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It’s been awhile, but random quotes!
Claudine: “I had 4 things touching my butt today: underwear, leggings, a leotard and this bench.”
Mia: “I’m full, but I want a taste in my mouth. That’s what I mean when I say I’m hungry sometimes.”
Claudine: “I want to be alive for a ton of days. But when you’re 100 you don’t have a birthday because you’re dead.”
Me: “Are you going to have kids?”
Claudine: “No. Because they are too whiny.”
Claudine: “Are you going to have another kid when Mia, daddy and me die?”
Claudine: “I want to be an artist but I don’t want move to France. I don’t want to speak another language. I have to move to France because Frances is my middle name.”
Mia: “Then move to Canada. You want to live near me?”
Claudine: “Can I move with you?”
Mia: “I’m moving to Hawaii.”
Claudine: “Oh. me too!”
Mia: “It’s nice there. And there are parties everyday.”
Claudine: Whenever I sleep with Blanky, it feels like Tobi’s fur and I feel like I’m petting him.”
Mia: “When I live in Hawaii when I get older, I’m going to adopt 6 cats. Their names will be Fluffy, Cutie, Cuddle, Smooch, Fuzz and Flop.”
Me: “Do you want to grow your hair long?”
Claudine: “Yes, but if it wasn’t for my big fat head, it’d be perfect.”
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Claudine: When I was age zero I was an egg. There was an egg in your belly and that was me. Then the egg hatched and I came out. That’s a real story.
Mia: Why do you keep designing so much? Because whenever I see you design something, it looks perfect to me.
Claudine: I love you more than 1000 kisses.
Me: Do you like me better than chocolate?
Claudine: Yes. I think you are great. You are also special. (pause) Just kidding. You’re not so special. Trophies and shiny sculptures are special.
Me: What do you think Mia would choose?
Mia: Do I have to spend my own money for a toy at target? No? Whew, cause I’m saving up all my money because me and Ella are going to buy a house together after college.
Claudine: Daddy, can I have you? I’m lonely.
Claudine: This is my imaginary sister, Anna.
Me: Why do you have an imaginery sister when you have a real one?
Claudine: I bought her.
Me: Where did you buy her?
Claudine: At a kids store.
Me: What’s a kid’s store?
Claudine: Where you buy kids. Imaginary. I just made it up.
Me: (Claudine shows me a drawing that she just made of Anna) She’s orange!
Claudine: That’s because I couldn’t do the peach. I couldn’t find it.
Me: Are you peach?
Me: Is mommy a peach?
Claudine: You’re peach white. Our family’s all peaches.
Mia: Can I have some of your wine?
Mark: No. Did you know adults can get arrested for giving wine to children because it’s against the law?
Mia: But I thought it was a free country.
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Claudine: “I don’t want to grow up. But I have to. I just don’t want to live by myself. I’m afraid. I want to stay here with everybody.”
Mia: “Don’t worry about yesterday cause yesterday already happened.”
Claudine (bends over as if walking with a cane): “This is like an old lady walking across the street, not standing up straight. Old ladies have dots all over their faces. Because old ladies are like that.”
Claudine: “You’re not old enough to be an old lady. You’re just a mommy cause you don’t bend over.”
Mia: “I need a day off from Claudine.”
Claudine: “I wish it could be summer again. Cause I don’t want to walk with all my cold stuff anymore.”
Claudine (when asked why she is so cute): “Because I have a fat head.”
Mia: “I want to be the first girl president of the United States. Because then I would make everyone have fun. It would be FunDay all the time. I would require it.”
Claudine: “I like all the warm places like Hawaii, except for the interrupting.” (she means erupting, as in volcanoes).
Claudine: “Our house smells like butter with cheese mixed up in the ceiling.”
Mia: “Can I have my backpack back? I want to look like I’m walking all by myself. So don’t talk to me.”
Claudine: “I have an imaginary friend. Her name is Phony.”
Read other random quotes here.
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And it went something like this:
Mia: “I’m writing in my diary right now and I don’t want anyone to read what I’m writing”.
Claudine walks over to the table where Mia’s writing in her diary and hovers.
Mia: “CLAUDINE! Go away! I don’t want you to read it!”.
Me (while washing dishes): “Uh, Claudine doesn’t know how to read yet. She doesn’t know what you’re writing”.
Mia: “But she knows how to read SOME words, like “I” and “Mia”.
Me: “Um, ok, but she’s not going to get any information just from those words out of context. But anyway, Claudine, you should give Mia her privacy.”
Claudine walks away, reluctantly.
Me: “What are you writing in there anyway?”
Mia: “Stuff. Private stuff. And I’m going to make sure no one reads my diary by switching up the key and locks so no one can open it”.
Me: “Ok, but you just told me how to open it. You don’t want mommy to read your diary either?”
Me: “Ok, guess it’s really private”.
I hear a little voice and I look down. Claudine appears out of NOWHERE and is suddenly standing next to me. She cups her hands around her mouth and whispers again, “Do it.”
Me: “Huh? Do what?”
Claudine (points in Mia’s direction behind her other hand so Mia can’t see):
“Read. The. Diary.”
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