Claudine: “An inside out fart doesn’t make any noise, but it smells. It smells the same as a not inside out fart which sounds like ppppffffffftt.”

Claudine: “I wish there were marshmallows all over the world. So that if we fall, we could just bounce bounce bounce.”

Mark: “We’re having burgers, fries and salad.”
Mia: “Yum. An American dinner.”
 
Mia: “My feet are very walkative right now.”

Claudine: “Are you going to sell us when you move?”
Me: “what do you mean, sell us”?
Claudine: “Sell us. Sell the kids. That’s why kids don’t live with their moms and dads when they grow up. I think you probably sell us.”

Claudine: “Are girls fashionable?”
 
Claudine: “Everyday you do something, even when you die. Because even that day you’re doing something. You’re dying.”
 
Mia: “I’m joining the foil straightening club. I’m really good at it.”

 
Claudine: “If you’re glow in the dark you don’t make any shadows.”

 
Claudine: “I feel like a grandma. Everything hurts.”

 
More random quotes here.

 
And now…for the first time ever…Miss C’s entry into the annual posting of unflattering, but truly awesome school photos, yay!!
 
And it’s been awhile, but random quotes!
 
Claudine: “I had 4 things touching my butt today: underwear, leggings, a leotard and this bench.”
 
Mia: “I’m full, but I want a taste in my mouth. That’s what I mean when I say I’m hungry sometimes.”
 
Claudine: “I want to be alive for a ton of days. But when you’re 100 you don’t have a birthday because you’re dead.”
 
Me: “Are you going to have kids?”
Claudine: “No. Because they are too whiny.”
 
Claudine: “Are you going to have another kid when Mia, daddy and me die?”
 
Claudine: “I want to be an artist but I don’t want move to France. I don’t want to speak another language. I have to move to France because Frances is my middle name.”
Mia: “Then move to Canada. You want to live near me?”
Claudine: “Can I move with you?”
Mia: “I’m moving to Hawaii.”
Claudine: “Oh. me too!”
Mia: “It’s nice there. And there are parties everyday.”
 
Claudine: Whenever I sleep with Blanky, it feels like Tobi’s fur and I feel like I’m petting him.”
 
Mia: “When I live in Hawaii when I get older, I’m going to adopt 6 cats. Their names will be Fluffy, Cutie, Cuddle, Smooch, Fuzz and Flop.”
 
Me: “Do you want to grow your hair long?”
Claudine: “Yes, but if it wasn’t for my big fat head, it’d be perfect.”
 

Can’t leave you without a cornified version of the class photos now, can I?
And past random quotes here (scroll past this entry).
 

Claudine: When I was age zero I was an egg. There was an egg in your belly and that was me. Then the egg hatched and I came out. That’s a real story.

Mia: Why do you keep designing so much? Because whenever I see you design something, it looks perfect to me.

Claudine: I love you more than 1000 kisses.
Me: Do you like me better than chocolate?
Claudine: Yes. I think you are great. You are also special. (pause) Just kidding. You’re not so special. Trophies and shiny sculptures are special.
Me: What do you think Mia would choose?
Claudine: Chocolate.

Mia: Do I have to spend my own money for a toy at target? No? Whew, cause I’m saving up all my money because me and Ella are going to buy a house together after college.

Claudine: Daddy, can I have you? I’m lonely.

Claudine: This is my imaginary sister, Anna.
Me: Why do you have an imaginery sister when you have a real one?
Claudine: I bought her.
Me: Where did you buy her?
Claudine: At a kids store.
Me: What’s a kid’s store?
Claudine: Where you buy kids. Imaginary. I just made it up.
Me: (Claudine shows me a drawing that she just made of Anna) She’s orange!
Claudine: That’s because I couldn’t do the peach. I couldn’t find it.
Me: Are you peach?
Claudine: Yeah.
Me: Is mommy a peach?
Claudine: You’re peach white. Our family’s all peaches.

Mia: Can I have some of your wine?
Mark: No. Did you know adults can get arrested for giving wine to children because it’s against the law?
Mia: But I thought it was a free country.

Claudine: “I don’t want to grow up. But I have to. I just don’t want to live by myself. I’m afraid. I want to stay here with everybody.”

Mia: “Don’t worry about yesterday cause yesterday already happened.”

Claudine (bends over as if walking with a cane): “This is like an old lady walking across the street, not standing up straight. Old ladies have dots all over their faces. Because old ladies are like that.”

Claudine: “You’re not old enough to be an old lady. You’re just a mommy cause you don’t bend over.”

Mia: “I need a day off from Claudine.”

Claudine: “I wish it could be summer again. Cause I don’t want to walk with all my cold stuff anymore.”

Claudine (when asked why she is so cute): “Because I have a fat head.”

Mia: “I want to be the first girl president of the United States. Because then I would make everyone have fun. It would be FunDay all the time. I would require it.”

Claudine: “I like all the warm places like Hawaii, except for the interrupting.” (she means erupting, as in volcanoes).

Claudine: “Our house smells like butter with cheese mixed up in the ceiling.”

Mia: “Can I have my backpack back? I want to look like I’m walking all by myself. So don’t talk to me.”

Claudine: “I have an imaginary friend. Her name is Phony.”

Read other random quotes here.

And it went something like this:

Mia: “I’m writing in my diary right now and I don’t want anyone to read what I’m writing”.

Claudine walks over to the table where Mia’s writing in her diary and hovers.
Mia: “CLAUDINE! Go away! I don’t want you to read it!”.

Me (while washing dishes): “Uh, Claudine doesn’t know how to read yet. She doesn’t know what you’re writing”.

Mia: “But she knows how to read SOME words, like “I” and “Mia”.

Me: “Um, ok, but she’s not going to get any information just from those words out of context. But anyway, Claudine, you should give Mia her privacy.”

Claudine walks away, reluctantly.

Me: “What are you writing in there anyway?”

Mia: “Stuff. Private stuff. And I’m going to make sure no one reads my diary by switching up the key and locks so no one can open it”.

Me: “Ok, but you just told me how to open it. You don’t want mommy to read your diary either?”

Mia: “No”.

Me: “Ok, guess it’s really private”.

“Do it”.

I hear a little voice and I look down. Claudine appears out of NOWHERE and is suddenly standing next to me. She cups her hands around her mouth and whispers again, “Do it.”

Me: “Huh? Do what?”

Claudine (points in Mia’s direction behind her other hand so Mia can’t see):
“Read. The. Diary.”

“When you’re a grown up, all there is to do is talk and work, drink coffee, eat spicy food and watch kids. Booooring!”

“Do you know how to relax?” – she asked me this one day.

“Look, a plump! A plump up in the sky!!” – referring to a blimp (but I like plump better, don’t you?)

“Some farts are bumpy.”

“I wish I was twenteen so I could live by myself and do what I want. It’s also my best number”.

“Nice boobs” – says she as she walks by me.

“Can you tie my booby traps on?” – referring to her shell bikini top that came with her hula costume.

“I wish for a baby mermaid with a rainbow tail that swims in our bathtub that’s short, not humongous, so I can watch her better.”

Related: Overheard in Seattle, random quotes 1