Can’t leave you without a cornified version of the class photos now, can I?
And past random quotes here (scroll past this entry).
 

Claudine: When I was age zero I was an egg. There was an egg in your belly and that was me. Then the egg hatched and I came out. That’s a real story.

Mia: Why do you keep designing so much? Because whenever I see you design something, it looks perfect to me.

Claudine: I love you more than 1000 kisses.
Me: Do you like me better than chocolate?
Claudine: Yes. I think you are great. You are also special. (pause) Just kidding. You’re not so special. Trophies and shiny sculptures are special.
Me: What do you think Mia would choose?
Claudine: Chocolate.

Mia: Do I have to spend my own money for a toy at target? No? Whew, cause I’m saving up all my money because me and Ella are going to buy a house together after college.

Claudine: Daddy, can I have you? I’m lonely.

Claudine: This is my imaginary sister, Anna.
Me: Why do you have an imaginery sister when you have a real one?
Claudine: I bought her.
Me: Where did you buy her?
Claudine: At a kids store.
Me: What’s a kid’s store?
Claudine: Where you buy kids. Imaginary. I just made it up.
Me: (Claudine shows me a drawing that she just made of Anna) She’s orange!
Claudine: That’s because I couldn’t do the peach. I couldn’t find it.
Me: Are you peach?
Claudine: Yeah.
Me: Is mommy a peach?
Claudine: You’re peach white. Our family’s all peaches.

Mia: Can I have some of your wine?
Mark: No. Did you know adults can get arrested for giving wine to children because it’s against the law?
Mia: But I thought it was a free country.

Claudine: “I don’t want to grow up. But I have to. I just don’t want to live by myself. I’m afraid. I want to stay here with everybody.”

Mia: “Don’t worry about yesterday cause yesterday already happened.”

Claudine (bends over as if walking with a cane): “This is like an old lady walking across the street, not standing up straight. Old ladies have dots all over their faces. Because old ladies are like that.”

Claudine: “You’re not old enough to be an old lady. You’re just a mommy cause you don’t bend over.”

Mia: “I need a day off from Claudine.”

Claudine: “I wish it could be summer again. Cause I don’t want to walk with all my cold stuff anymore.”

Claudine (when asked why she is so cute): “Because I have a fat head.”

Mia: “I want to be the first girl president of the United States. Because then I would make everyone have fun. It would be FunDay all the time. I would require it.”

Claudine: “I like all the warm places like Hawaii, except for the interrupting.” (she means erupting, as in volcanoes).

Claudine: “Our house smells like butter with cheese mixed up in the ceiling.”

Mia: “Can I have my backpack back? I want to look like I’m walking all by myself. So don’t talk to me.”

Claudine: “I have an imaginary friend. Her name is Phony.”

Read other random quotes here.

And it went something like this:

Mia: “I’m writing in my diary right now and I don’t want anyone to read what I’m writing”.

Claudine walks over to the table where Mia’s writing in her diary and hovers.
Mia: “CLAUDINE! Go away! I don’t want you to read it!”.

Me (while washing dishes): “Uh, Claudine doesn’t know how to read yet. She doesn’t know what you’re writing”.

Mia: “But she knows how to read SOME words, like “I” and “Mia”.

Me: “Um, ok, but she’s not going to get any information just from those words out of context. But anyway, Claudine, you should give Mia her privacy.”

Claudine walks away, reluctantly.

Me: “What are you writing in there anyway?”

Mia: “Stuff. Private stuff. And I’m going to make sure no one reads my diary by switching up the key and locks so no one can open it”.

Me: “Ok, but you just told me how to open it. You don’t want mommy to read your diary either?”

Mia: “No”.

Me: “Ok, guess it’s really private”.

“Do it”.

I hear a little voice and I look down. Claudine appears out of NOWHERE and is suddenly standing next to me. She cups her hands around her mouth and whispers again, “Do it.”

Me: “Huh? Do what?”

Claudine (points in Mia’s direction behind her other hand so Mia can’t see):
“Read. The. Diary.”

“When you’re a grown up, all there is to do is talk and work, drink coffee, eat spicy food and watch kids. Booooring!”

“Do you know how to relax?” – she asked me this one day.

“Look, a plump! A plump up in the sky!!” – referring to a blimp (but I like plump better, don’t you?)

“Some farts are bumpy.”

“I wish I was twenteen so I could live by myself and do what I want. It’s also my best number”.

“Nice boobs” – says she as she walks by me.

“Can you tie my booby traps on?” – referring to her shell bikini top that came with her hula costume.

“I wish for a baby mermaid with a rainbow tail that swims in our bathtub that’s short, not humongous, so I can watch her better.”

Related: Overheard in Seattle, random quotes 1

“Sometimes I sneeze when I get excited because it’s like blowing confetti out of my nose. ” – Mia

“I have a lot in common with Daphne from Scooby Doo. I’m pretty. I’m popular. I sometimes wear the same outfit 3 days in a row. I also wear a headband.” – Mark’s sister’s 8 year old neighbor

“I’m allergic to unicorns.” – Claudine

“Sometimes when I get excited I don’t show it. I just wiggle my toes instead.” – Mia

“Do you know Lady Gaga? What?!? You live in NY and you don’t know Lady Gaga??” – the same 8 year old neighbor to Mia

(rolls eyes) “I think everyone in the whole wide world knows by now that Mia was in the hospital.” – Claudine

Overheard, but not necessarily in the same conversation:

Claudine (as she admires her outfit): “ooh, I look so pretty. I love this dress. People are going to see me and say, ‘Hey, I like that kid!’”.

Mia: “I’m going to buy a baby at the hospital because I don’t want a baby in my tummy. I really want a baby but I don’t want a baby coming out of my butt.”
“I’m also going to marry Claudine.” (none of our explanations on why she couldn’t marry Claudine made sense to her, btw).

Claudine: “I fart a lot.”

Mia (to Claudine): “You were in mommy’s tummy and then you came out of her butt”.
Claudine (totally deadpan and serious): “I was a poopie?”