Oh, December…you are here. And we are in the throes of Holiday!Cookie!Madness! for our 4th year. Thousands of cookies will be baked per day, hundreds of bows will be tied (have you ever had to tie 200 little ribbons? It always takes longer than you think. 4-5 hours to tie 200 ribbons, for real – and by the 50th ribbon, your fingers forget what to do. I have looked up “how to tie a ribbon” videos on youtube, true fact), paper will be trimmed, folded and stacked for wrapping, and hundreds of packages will be made and stamped. It’s true, every Fall fills us with a little bit of dread as we head into 16 hr work days until the Christmas holiday, but at this point in our 4th year of business, we know what to expect and how much we can handle so we can minimize the crazy at least just a little bit.
 
This year we’re lucky to have a little more help than the past 3 years as two of Mark’s old pastry staff from his restaurant days are coming in 2 days per week on their days off all month to help him bake those thousands of cookies (although Mark can and does bake up to 2000 cookies himself and I still don’t understand how that’s humanly possible, I really don’t). Hopefully that means that we can extend our ordering deadlines by a few days and not turn away some of the larger orders that we sometimes need to in order to maintain our sanity.
 
And the holiday fairs! The season is here and we’re kicking it off by participating in the West Elm/Etsy Handmade Holiday Fair tonight at the West Elm Dumbo store in Brooklyn from 6-9pm.
 
Next weekend, Dec 10 & 11, the Bust Magazine Holiday Craftacular expands to 2 days with a new location in Soho, and we’ll be back at the Brooklyn Flea One Hanson for 5 dates starting December 16th. We’ll have calendars, prints and tea towels available at all 3 events (and thanks to Epicurious for featuring our calendar in their gift guide)
 
The holidays wheeeeeeeeee……zzzzzzzzzzzz

If you haven’t taken a look at our etsy print shop lately (and why would you? I never talk about it here!) there are a ton more new kitchen conversion poster and print colors (like hot pink!).
 
Also in the shop are a bunch more photos, some from our travels to the Outer Banks for those of you who’ve asked, and a few more you might recognize from around here.
 
Use code: BLACK11 for 15% off until Sunday.
 
Did you all have a nice Thanksgiving? Are any of you crazy enough to get up at 4:30am to go shopping at the mall? I think I’ll sleep in…zzz….

The holidays are coming! The holidays are coming! Can you believe Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away? Oh…the craziness is about to start. Some biz news to share with you now that some holiday events are being confirmed.
 

We’ll be at the West Elm/ Etsy Holiday Mini Mart on December 1st, 6-9pm in the West Elm Dumbo, Brooklyn store.
This year, the Bust Holiday Craftacular is an entire weekend with a new location! December 10th & 11th at 82 Mercer Street in Soho.
 

We’re also excited to announce that our products are in a new Brooklyn shop in our very own neighborhood. Valley Shepherd Creamery is a NJ based creamery who just opened a store on 211 7th Avenue in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Support our new local cheese shop!
 
…And Philly friends, more marshmallows and cookies are back on the shelves at Green Aisle Grocery in Philadelphia.
 
For a list of all of our current retailers, visit our retailers page. We may be adding a few more soon.
 
Have a great weekend, friends. We’re having a few girls over from school for Claudine’s Birthday, take 2. I keep forgetting we’re throwing a party. Oh, and my crazy freelance work schedule is over for now (until the crazy holidaze kicks in, that is), so hopefully I’ll be around the blog more next week. I recently passed 1000 posts (this is post 1017)! Craziness!

Mark’s the kind of guy who randomly finds himself on TV (by comparison, I have never been on TV and I’ve lived in NYC most of my life). Within 3 months of moving here way back in the 90s, he was randomly videotaped by a news crew coming out the doors of the train, and one day he saw himself on a news story about subways. That clip got a lot of mileage because he saw that same clip on other Subway stories a few more times. During his time as a Pastry Chef, he did some cooking demos for news shows – you know, where you see a chef on TV cook a dish in under 3 minutes for the “lifestyle” segment or whatever. And then of course, there have been some other brief sightings for the few times our business has been featured on TV.

On tuesday night we tuned into the Cooking Channel’s United Tastes of America’s show about cookies not really knowing what kind of footage we’d see. Well, rather than the usual 30 second mention, they showed the host chatting with Mark at the Brooklyn Flea for quite a few minutes about the Massaman Curry Peanut Butter Sandwiches and the Chocolate Chili Cashew Biscotti. The clip was long enough for me to go get my camera and snap like a million screenshots. Of course Mark and I sort of watched with eyes half closed. You ever watch or hear yourself speaking? It’s nervewracking!!

So we’re doing a Fall sale on our Etsy store. You can use code FALLSALE to get 15% off your entire order. [edit: The Sale is now over. Thanks everyone!]

And lastly, I was interviewed on Donny Tsang’s Great Food Photos. Go check out the site and read about other great food photographers. This interview was particularly fun because for once, it wasn’t about cookies or parenting!

We have 2012 calenders! And they’re are now available for sale here or here. Hope you like them!

It’s Fake! Summer! in NYC right now. It’s not just that the temps are warm, it’s also unseasonably humid which is pissing everyone off right now. But you know, it’s the end of September and no matter how warm it is, everyone’s trying to ignore it by convincing themselves that Fall is really here and consuming as many pumpkin products out there. Like these Pumpkin Ginger Sandwich Cookies, which are again making their seasonal appearance. You can buy them here or here.

Also new in our shops is the Brooklyn Market Cookie, which you guys helped name. These are smaller, more petite versions than the big ones we sell at the markets, but you can now finally get your own shipped right to you. Cookie season is back! Fall is here! (not).

ps. that brooklyn bottle btw is by Elyssa Ettinger.

Do you know we do wedding favors? We’ve been doing them since our first year when a customer asked about favors, and now the hearts and pillowy packages of marshmallow cubes are the most popular favor requested. These are some recent(ish) favors we’ve sent out.

So…in exactly 2 weeks we’ll be on an airplane headed to our annual August Seattle trip to visit the in-laws, but this time we’re tacking on Northern California first to go visit my brother and his new baby (yes, I have a brother!) and some old friends. I haven’t been to San Francisco in 15 years and it was just a day stop when Mark and I drove across country to move to New York, but prior to that, the last time I spent any amount of time in the city was in 1990 during one of my many traveling adventures. We’ll have 4 full days there and no doubt will cram as much in as possible. Any thoughts on things we should hit?

We’ll be away for nearly 3 weeks which is the longest we’ve been away from the business. We’re nervous about leaving the cat, who is still hanging in there despite his illness and his occasional bad days, and we’re nervous about shutting the business down for 3 weeks and not making any income during that time (a HUGE compromise when you don’t get paid vacations from an employer). But we’ve made a promise to travel with the girls as long as it’s something we can swing financially without too much sacrifice and it’ll give Mark a nice break before we regroup for the Fall and the holidays. In the meantime, we’d like to keep Mark busy in the kitchen for the next 10 days, so we’re having a little summer sale (if you follow us on Facebook or Twitter, then you may have already heard). Use code SUMMERSALE11 on either our website or our Etsy shop and save 15% off of your total order until August 12th. After the 14th, our shop will be closed until September 2nd.

ps. thanks for all your comments on the whole ad thing. You know I appreciate your comments, right? And if I could get threaded comments to work on here, it’d be so much easier to respond to each of your comments, but as it is, I don’t always get a chance to respond back. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about ads yet, and given my lack of motivation to do anything these days, probably nothing. How’s that for a lame answer? I think this vacation can’t come soon enough…

“Selling out” is kind of an annoying, throw away phrase, isn’t it? Like a visceral reaction to anything that goes mainstream or involves capitalism. But I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I think when we were kids, when we were out there regularly protesting the Persian Gulf War or protesting gentrification, or animal cruelty or pretty much anything else that we could protest, we swore that we would never compromise our beliefs. We tried to live outside the mainstream as much as we could within an urban environment, be politically and socially active, and temporarily drop out of society altogether during the summer months to camp out in the woods. So when did things change? I’m not in touch with the old gang from the East Village anymore. I don’t know what’s become of everyone, but there are ways you can find snippets of information if you were really curious, and I’ve been a bit surprised to learn that some of my old friends aren’t living their lives that differently from the ideals and lifestyles that we harbored when we were teenagers and in our early 20s. Why does this surprise me? Because I don’t? Would my 19 year old self shake my head at my 41 year old self because I have a mortgage? Because I’ve worked for ad agencies hawking products that I didn’t necessarily believe in? Because I’m not a vegan anymore and I wear leather? There isn’t anything wrong with any of this, of course. Some may call it “growing up”, but it does make me confront the fact that maybe those college years for me were more about experimentation and going through some sort of phase and less about making a decision to live life according to any radical beliefs. I have to admire some of my old friends for keeping true to themselves all these years, not that I feel like I’m not, but it’s like that often quoted Talking Heads song, “You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?”

It’s not to say that I did a complete 180 once I became an adult. I think I’ve done my best to generally avoid a corporate life and seek out projects with non profits and arts and culture clients, brief stints in ad agencies aside. But the truth is, I like buying stuff. I like wearing leather shoes (I mean I really, really like shoes). I like making money. And ok, let’s be honest, I can never camp in the woods like that ever again. Maybe for a few days, tops, but weeks would just bore me to tears.

What does this have to do with anything, you may ask? I’ve been asked why I’m so opposed to selling ads on the blog and while my strong knee-jerk reaction is “no way”, I’ve had to stop and really think about why. I guess my first thought is that advertising is literally everywhere and it’s hard to escape in the real world and online. Website, apps and blogs are resembling billboards and it gives me a headache. This is one space on the internet – my space – that I can control and keep free of advertising. This is also why if you email me to mention a product, talk about your business, donate a product for your blog giveaway, do a giveaway on my blog or write a sponsored post, I will turn you down (unless for charity in a few instances). I may occasionally write about small businesses of my friends that I want to support, but if I don’t know you then it doesn’t feel genuine to me. I want to be clear that I don’t think there is anything wrong with making money off of advertising on your blog if you have the readership to make it worthwhile, but it’s not something that feels right for me. As full disclosure, I did run a product and design blog in the mid 2000s that did make money off of ads as some of you may know, but it seemed appropriate in context there and was part of a larger network. I didn’t fully own that blog.

This decision isn’t without the occasional internal struggle, I won’t lie. My stance has been clear: no ads. But as the blog gains more readers I’m faced with a financial quandary from time to time. I will disclose that the monthly bill to host this blog on a server isn’t insignificant. It’s a real bill. As the blog attracts more readers and puts stress on the servers and I get notices from my hosting account that I’ve exceeded my bandwidth limit for yet another month and additional charges will get billed, I face the decision to upgrade servers for the 4th time which would also increase hosting costs. You might argue that the blog should be seen as a promotional vehicle for our business therefore costs should be folded into our expenses, and it is, but you and I know that this isn’t what the blog is about and I actually can’t measure how many sales are driven from blog traffic. My guess is that it’s only a few. So can I afford to keep this blog? For now, yes. In the future? I don’t know.

So I wonder sometimes, why am I so stubborn about the issue? Even though internet advertising isn’t what it used to be 5 years ago, I have a general idea of how much I could make if I sold ads on this blog. It could help pay for our health insurance. It could buy me some free time so I can focus on W&S projects that I never seem to have time for. After all, I spend so much time here. Sometimes it takes me 6 hours and lost sleep to write a single post. What is that worth?

I don’t know what the answer is, my friends. Some of you have expressed that you would be disappointed if I started selling ads. I wouldn’t worry as I still don’t think I could do it and I’d feel I was being hypocritical on something I feel pretty strongly about. I always believed if I had the ability to earn money by other means, I wouldn’t earn money through the blog. But sometimes I do wonder if I’m being stupid by turning stuff down, including a recent decision to turn down a crazy opportunity that would perhaps be a real shot at my 15 minutes of fame because it didn’t align with my beliefs.

Stupid integrity.

The girls had their first lemonade stand of the season this weekend. They made 10 dollars.

I think one of the most challenging things we’re facing as a not-so-new business is keeping things new and relevant. There’s one thing to be said about reaping the benefits from notching a few years of experience under your belt: systems start falling into place and production for the most part, runs fairly smoothly (geez, I talk as if we’re a big operation. It’s still just Mark in the kitchen though). The press and the public, however, are always on the lookout for the next new thing. Summers can also be a slower season for bakers when the weather warms up and people are turning to frozen treats and ice cream (I don’t blame them) so we decided to do a little experiment.

Maybe you’ll remember that the only thing that I feel wistful about regarding our decision not to open a store is the fact that Mark can’t make his ice cream. It’s his favorite kind of dessert to make and he was just about ready to ditch the baked goods if the ice cream took off. We can’t really handle ice cream production right now, so Mark made a version that doesn’t need machinery and isn’t whipped (it comes out much denser). He tested out 3 flavors and we both immediately liked the curry milk chocolate, so he brought them in little 4oz cups to the Flea last Saturday…except they didn’t really sell all that well. Granted, it was last minute, we didn’t publicize it except for a single tweet and a Facebook post (also, I am horrible at promoting our own stuff), and maybe the world wasn’t ready to try a curry milk chocolate combo, who knows. We also made the mistake, I think, of calling it frozen custard which it technically is, but it didn’t really help. Mark was kind of a sad panda that day. But hey, we’re strong! We’re resilient! And we can accept when an idea doesn’t work. It isn’t the first time we came up with something that failed.

BUT, we’re not giving up so fast this time because we really like them and our kids like them and if Claudine, who is the pickiest eater ever, thinks this is “MMMMM” and can’t stop talking about how the spices made a funny tingle in her throat, then maybe other people will like it too. So Mark’s bringing them back to the Flea this Saturday (this week we’re at Smorgasburg in Williamsburg) and here’s the one time you’ll read an obnoxiously shameless plug right here on the blog:

(Start Shameless Plug)
This Saturday at the Smorg! Curry Milk Chocolate Ice Cream in a Cup! Packed densely in small 4oz cups so you don’t need to worry about breaking that diet! Made with high quality chocolate and Mark’s own blend of curry spices! A mere $3.50 buys you a flavor explosion in your mouth! Limited supply, so get yours early!
(End Shameless Plug)

whew, ok, that wasn’t so bad. By the way, I heard that The Flea is celebrating National Ice Cream Month by bringing in extra ice cream vendors this Saturday who don’t normally sell at the Flea so there’s like a million more ice cream options than usual. Face plant.

I never thought there would be this kind of response to the “breadwinner” post, but it’s gotten the most comments of any other post on the blog so far (aside from the ones where we’re giving away free cookies) and I’ve enjoyed reading through them all. Your comments and emails have also helped me to sort through some tough rollercoaster feelings I’ve been having as I float through this summer with a lighter work schedule, though Mark reminded me yesterday that I am still working all the time because I still have to tend to matters of our W&S business on a daily basis (I don’t often think of that as “working”, why is that?). As I’ve mentioned before, my schedule this summer is partly by choice and partly because some projects have fallen through. It isn’t easy for me to stay calm and just enjoy some time off though. I have to fight every day to keep from being consumed by worry, depression and guilt that I’m not earning money right now for my family. As freelancers, we often can’t help but measure our self esteem and worth according to how busy we are. I’m trying to break out of that way of thinking.

So what does it say that so many have responded to that post? Many of you feel same way. It’s not easy admitting something that seems so selfish, so petty, but I wanted to validate those feelings because they’re real, even if we do feel guilty for having them. But what I’m also hearing from you and others is that even as breadwinners we often find ourselves taking on more than our fair share of parenting and household duties, just because we’re women.

I need to tell you that I never aspired to be a “supermom”. I may have been called that by others, but I wouldn’t use that term to refer to myself. I fully acknowledge that I can’t do it all, but I don’t have to because Mark and I are equals as parents. I know some women who are real supermoms though. My mom was a supermom. She worked as a nurse full time while finishing her college degree at night, shutting herself in a tiny bedroom in the attic, writing papers in a language that wasn’t her first. Then she switched careers and started making real money, but she did all of this while doing the cooking, the dish washing, the grocery shopping, the cleaning, the bill paying, the financial planning, the laundry and the child rearing. All of it, by herself. She wasn’t a single mom, no, but all of the household and parenting duties fell on her because that’s what our culture dictated. It was her “job”.

I’m not sure how much of our childhood perceptions of our parents comes into play as we become adults and parents ourselves, but perhaps I saw how much my mom struggled as soon as I was old enough to understand and subconsciously wanted something different for myself. I remember feeling annoyed as well, that my brother was never expected to do any chores around the house because he was a boy, while I was expected to wash the dishes and help my mother out in the kitchen because I was a girl. This would even happen, as adults, when my brother would come visit from out of town. We would just fall into those stereotypical gender roles because in our culture, the boys were doted on. Maybe Mark saw something in his childhood too, a kid coming from divorced parents, which made him a lot more open to naturally sharing equal duties (if not more) of parenting and household chores because he sensed something missing in his life. I don’t know if any of that is true, but I would think that it’s impossible to ignore how our childhood factors into our views on marriage and parenting.

I’m becoming more and more aware that we are building these impressions on our young daughters. I believe it’s our responsibility to teach and lead them by example so that their generation can continue closing the gender gap in the workplace, even if they do decide to become stay-ay-home moms. But I also believe that it’s our responsibility to raise sons who become equals in the household so that if they do find themselves as stay-at-home dads either part time or full time, they do so without shame, feeling emasculated or secretly (or not so secretly) looked down upon by their spouses or other parents at the playground (this happens!). Gender equality is complicated because emotions can get involved and it’s so steeped in tradition, history, social, legal and economic systems. It’s also complicated because as mothers, we naturally feel the pull to stay at home with our kids and that’s where the internal struggle begins. I read that in this country, our women are among the most educated in the world, but we’re not as successful in keeping our women in the workforce when they become mothers presumably because our current work culture doesn’t give the support that women need in order to keep working. What do I say when Mia keeps asking me why there hasn’t been a woman president yet? I don’t know how to answer that question myself.

If my girls decide to become stay-at-home moms because it made them happy I would fully support it, but only if it made them happy and not because they felt like they didn’t have a choice. Being a breadwinner or a primary care giver shouldn’t be so stuck in gender stereotypes, but it takes a long time to change those perceptions. I hope my girls have more choices in the future. I hope all parents, both men and women have more choices.

The white house. Mia says she wants to live there. Maybe some day.