He’s gone

August 30, 2011 |  Category:   family life

Tobi at the beginning of his life. Tobi at the end of his life.

Ridiculously surreal to be dealing with this over the phone 3000 miles away. We were on a ferry departing the San Juan Islands when I got a phone call from our cat sitter. I made the authorization to the vet to euthanize in the car ride back to Seattle. Mia overheard the phone conversations. She was very upset. Claudine was too busy with her sticker book on the ferry and was napping in the car so she wasn’t aware of what was going on. Mark later told her when they were sitting together on a park bench in Seattle that Tobi was sick and sleeping forever when she said that she missed him (she has said that a few times over the course of the trip). She then stepped away from the bench and started crying.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was all alone those last hours, but our neighbor (1 of 3 people we asked to stop by and take care of our cat) sent me photos of his kids giving Tobi lots of pets and hugs yesterday. The 2 year old wanted to see the cat again so they went over a second time. This made me feel better. He had lots of company on his last day.

I suspect it won’t really hit us until we get home. I’ll likely never forget that ferry ride.

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  • Stéphanie August 31, 2011 at 11:42 am

    I was so sorry for you one month ago when you said he was sick. I share your pain now : we have to euthanize our 15 years old siamese cat Zoé on sunday afternoon. I loved her so much and I’m so deeply sad now. Courage to you and your family …

  • Jin Yu Kuang August 31, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I’m so sorry about Tobi. I am sure he is in a good place now.

  • Jane August 31, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    He lived a good, long, happy, loved life. He was a lucky cat to have such a caring family. He’s no longer sick, no longer in any pain. It isn’t much comfort at first, but I’m sure in time all the good and happy memories of all the years together will help fill the empty spot in your home.

  • Em August 31, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    so, so sorry…

  • lifewithsparkles August 31, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    very sorry..sending lots of love….

  • Kim August 31, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    So sorry. Sending love & positive thoughts your way.

  • Lauren August 31, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    sad, sad, no good news – sending some strength to you and the family. xoxo

  • scentual soundtracks August 31, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    So sorry to hear this, Jenna & family. My thoughts are with you.

  • leathergal August 31, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    Losing a family pet is the worst! I know how you feel. Take comfort in the fact that he had a loving family and great life. While I’m not religious, my brother and I always took comfort in the Dog Heaven and Cat Heaven books when we were little. Maybe Cat Heaven would help your girls.

  • Regina Elaine August 31, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Losing a pet is never easy. I’m so sorry 🙁

  • Kayla @ Exquisite Banana September 1, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Wow, the vision of Claudine walking away from the bench touched me beyond description. I remember being six and losing our family dog. It’s so hard. I’m glad Tobi isn’t hurting anymore but am deeply sad for your family’s loss.

  • Teresa September 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    So sorry to hear about Tobi. I think our pets somehow realize the pain of their leaving, and choose to go quietly in their own time, and when we are away. There is comfort in knowing that Tobi had a happy life with you and that he knew he was loved.

  • monica September 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    so sorry to read about this. It’s very sad to lose a pet…hope tobi is now resting….lots of love.

  • katie September 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that you had to do this from so far away. That must have been so difficult.
    We had to put our oldest and dearest pet…our cat, named Luna, to sleep last Thursday. It’s only been a week & it’s still very raw.
    We found her outside a bodega in Brooklyn, probably only a few weeks old, eating out of an alpo dog food can, in the dead of winter. That was 16 yrs ago.
    I miss her so much. The house seems so strange without her presence. My boys have been very torn up about it.
    I hope your girls are doing ok! Hugs.

  • Stephanie September 1, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    So sorry to hear about your loss. We’re preparing ourselves emotionally for our impending loss of our beloved 10 year old pup and there’s nothing quite like losing a beloved pet. Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way.

  • krista September 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    i am so sorry for your families loss. hopefully, over time the sadness of his passing will fade and you’ll be left with all the sweet memories of the role he played in your family. please know that you’re not alone and that tobi knew he was loved. virtual hugs from savannah, georgia :).

  • Ashley September 2, 2011 at 4:23 am

    So sorry, Jenna. Thinking of you all.

  • ana {bluebirdkisses} September 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    I just read this and it breaks my heart. I can’t imagine losing either of my cats, they are such a big part of our family.

  • Dana September 2, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Good luck with the coming home, I wish you a healthy loving fresh new start

  • un arc-en-ciel dans le lavabo September 2, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    I don’t know you personally, I’m just a customer and I know Lecia… may I just delurk to say how sad I am to hear Tobi is gone.
    We’ve lost 3 cats with fatal disease including cancer these past years and although we & our feelings are all different I can imagine how it hurts. Distance or not. It is devastating.
    The way you write about Tobi shows how much he was loved & cared for, not every cat are this fortunate, so may your love for him help you & your family through this loss.
    Would it sound too familiar if as a cat mom I’d give you a comfort ((hug)) across the ocean ?

  • Carolyn September 3, 2011 at 9:20 am

    I cried when I read this post. I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. It looks like Tobi had a wonderful life filled with love from being a part of your family. Prayers and best wishes to you and your family during this time.

  • kaye i September 4, 2011 at 2:01 am

    I’m deeply sorry for your loss.

  • diamondkelt September 4, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    This made me meepy, I hope the girls are doing ok with it (the best they can and you as well) and I’m sure it’ll be weird at home now without him, but I hope for the best for you guys.
    He seemed like such a good, onery cat and those are the best kind 🙂

  • wendy September 4, 2011 at 11:28 pm

    i’m so sorry that this happened while you guys were away.. it’s so hard to lose a pet. they’re like family. hugs to all of you!

  • Hannah September 5, 2011 at 11:35 am

    I’m so sad to read this post and am thinking of you x

  • susan September 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

    saying that final goodbye to a much loved pet is so hard.
    sleep tight sweet & dear orange tabby Tobi … you are loved – your words and photos are perfect

  • Mrs D September 16, 2011 at 12:22 am

    Oh no Jenna, I am truly sorry and sad to hear it. Spunky ginger Tobes…my heart went straight in my throat as I was catching up on your posts and saw this.

    You did not abandon Toby! He was dearly loved, even from far away. He was not well and although he had his ‘I’m back bitches’ rare moments, he could have gone at any time – whether you were home or away.

    Lots of thoughts and squishes sent to you and yours xxox

  • lyndsay October 10, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    hi jenna – i’m a relatively new reader and i think your blog is truly lovely. but why i am commenting is to say how sorry i was to read that tobi the cat had passed away. i had to put down my beloved kitty four summers ago (it still hurts!) and it was truly devastating – i got her when she was a kitten and saw her through to old age and illness, and she was with me through my formative 20s and early 30s… what helped (not sure if you have done this) for me was to have a tiny memorial tea party for my cat – with close friends, family, a slideshow, and tea and treats.. anyhow i really think your blog is terrific, your photographs and words are truly lovely and personal and genuine. all the best.

  • Nome October 25, 2011 at 12:35 am

    I just read this aloud to my husband and unexpectedly cried. We have our first cat and I couldn’t image how hard this must have been. What a touching post, I can sense how much he was loved…

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