He’s gone

August 30, 2011 |  Category:   family life


Tobi at the beginning of his life. Tobi at the end of his life.

Ridiculously surreal to be dealing with this over the phone 3000 miles away. We were on a ferry departing the San Juan Islands when I got a phone call from our cat sitter. I made the authorization to the vet to euthanize in the car ride back to Seattle. Mia overheard the phone conversations. She was very upset. Claudine was too busy with her sticker book on the ferry and was napping in the car so she wasn’t aware of what was going on. Mark later told her when they were sitting together on a park bench in Seattle that Tobi was sick and sleeping forever when she said that she missed him (she has said that a few times over the course of the trip). She then stepped away from the bench and started crying.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was all alone those last hours, but our neighbor (1 of 3 people we asked to stop by and take care of our cat) sent me photos of his kids giving Tobi lots of pets and hugs yesterday. The 2 year old wanted to see the cat again so they went over a second time. This made me feel better. He had lots of company on his last day.

I suspect it won’t really hit us until we get home. I’ll likely never forget that ferry ride.

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  • Christie August 30, 2011 at 11:41 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss, too. The thought of Claudine walking away from the bench to cry made me teary eyed. Maybe he waited until you guys were gone because he knew it would be easier on everyone (maybe easier isn’t the right word, but…). =/ I know it won’t be the same when you get home, but I hope you guys can enjoy the rest of your trip together and cherish the fond memories you had with Tobi. You and your family gave Tobi the best life possible. Peace and blessings to you all. Hugs from frigid SF.

  • Tina August 30, 2011 at 11:56 am

    So sorry to hear about tobi’s passing. 🙁

  • Sebbie August 30, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    I’m sorry. Losing a pet and family member is very hard.

  • Robin August 30, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    So sorry. I have to euthanize ours today – a big fat black cat named Lucy. I am having such a hard time making the appointment for this evening. You are not alone – hugs !

  • Atsuko August 30, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    I am very sorry to hear about Tobi. It brought tears in my eyes. It is not easy to loose a be loved pet as I recently lost my 18-year-old cat. I am sure that Tobi was very happy to be at the comfortable and familiar house. My thoughts go to you and your family. Hope your girls will be ok.

  • Funaek August 30, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    So sorry to hear about Tobi! I know how hard it can be to deal with a furry loss. I hope your daughters are coping well and remember the happy memories with him.

  • Bee August 30, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    So sorry to hear this T_T I know how sad it is to lose a pet.

  • Carrie August 30, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    I am very sorry Jenna

  • Sara Jensen August 30, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Im so sorry. I didnt realize this happened until just now. I wish that I could make you guys feel better. Im glad that we got to know Tobi. oxoxoxoooxox

  • Suzette August 30, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I’m so sorry to learn of your loss. There is just nothing to say that will make it better. He was loved – and he knew it. You will always hold him in your hearts, and in time only the bright moments will shine through.

  • Susan August 30, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I’m seriously crying…the title especially got me. I am so very sorry for your loss and difficult decision. Heartbreaking.

  • chloe August 30, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    i am sorry.

  • Vanessa Rae August 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    i’m sorry for your family’s loss Jenna.

  • Susan A August 30, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. And unfortunately you will remember that ferry ride for a long time. It’s been over a year since we lost our Emily to cancer and still brings me to tears. HUGS.

  • Nicole Marie August 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I’m so sorry Jenna. My thoughts are with you and your family. I know it seems impossible now but day by day it will hurt less and less. He will always be in your memory and hearts.

  • Chantale August 30, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Aw Jenna, I’m so sorry about this. I really feel for and the girls. Eventually, the feelings of loss leaves and you are left with beautiful memories. My heart aches for you…

  • Christine August 30, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Jenna + Family – I am so sorry for your loss. R.I.P. Tobi

  • Kris August 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    Such sad news! I know it’s far easier said than done, but try not to be hard on yourself about not being there. I think some animals may prefer to be alone at the end. My family had a wonderful dog for years and years. Late in his life, already at a ripe old age, he survived being mauled by another dog. A few years later, he ran away, which he had never done before. He was very old and frail at that point, and, while I get that it seems ridiculous to read so much into a dog’s actions, I am convinced that he ran off to spare my family the pain of watching him die.

    I am glad Tobi is at peace. Hopefully the memories of better times will bring you comfort in the days to come.

  • mochimuffin August 30, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    *hugs* This post brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that you gave him a long and wonderful life with your family, and that’s all a pet could ever ask for.

  • Sora August 30, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Very sorry for your loss. I know he had a beautiful life. RIP Tobi.

  • Seema August 30, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    What a beautiful cat, and hopefully you hav lots of wonderful memories with him – the best thing is knowing that he was loved and cared for… lots of lovely thoughts and best wishes to you. Sorry for your loss.

  • Sandy August 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    so very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. he was a lucky fellow.

  • Michelle August 30, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    My orange cat sits on my lap as I read your post with a tear in my eye. So sorry about your Tobi.

  • Kat August 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Sitting here in tears reading this post, but what a cat and what a life! Deepest wishes to you and yours at this time.

  • Ez August 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Oh Jena…I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful furry family member Tobi. Sending you and your family lots of hugs and warm thoughts across the miles. xo

  • Meghann @ Fuzzy.Little.Wishballs August 30, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Oh, my. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. The timing seems terrible, but just think about how being away may help distract you from dwelling on the sad thoughts.

  • sylvï August 30, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    i’m so sorry to hear about your cat passing away, but i must say i kind of foresaw it happening this way. you shouldn’t feel bad about not being there, it is quite likely it was easier for tobi to let go without you around. animals, and cats in particular tend to hang on for the owners’ benefit, and prefer to hide away when the time has come. you know he was cared for, and got to just fall asleep in the end of a good, long life. there is no need to feel guilty.

    this made me realize it’s been nearly two years since i lost my cat, the last of our feline family members, and i’m still in tears now because i miss him so much.

    i’ve also lost pets while away from home, and know how awful, unreal and, indeed, guilt-inducing it can be.

  • C August 30, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    RIP Tobi, he will be frolicking around in cat heaven.

  • Ula August 30, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    I had tears in my eyes reading this… I’m very sensitive about animals…

  • Sarah August 30, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    This post made me want to cry. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Based on your pictures though, I’m sure you have many beautiful memories. Take care. Sarah

  • Em August 30, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Jenna, I’m so sorry you have lost your darling Tobi. It sounds like you have a wonderful neighbour to think of taking photos of his last day.
    Sending you all a big hug x

  • lilcg August 30, 2011 at 10:02 pm

    so sorry for all of you, but glad that he had lots of company at the end.

  • Paige Davidson August 30, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Tobi was so handsome and well-loved. I said goodbye to my Tanner last Saturday after 16 years. I’m glad to know she has a playmate and potential new boyfriend in the clouds.

  • Juliet August 30, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    Such sad news. Sending good thoughts to Tobi and you guys – Tobi is watching over you guys from the big cat nip field up in the sky…

  • Kelly C August 30, 2011 at 11:56 pm

    I’m so sorry!!!! I am not a “pet person” but I adored my cat, Oreo came to me as a kitten when I was 5 months pregnant with my firstborn son. My boyfriend had just abandoned me and I felt so alone. Oreo was my little pal..something to take care of while I waited for my son to be born. Then she became a friend to both of us. Sadly, Oreo died last year of cancer. She was 7 years old. I cried like a baby, remembering how she brought me so much happiness when I needed it..and then brought joy and laughter to our lives.

    I feel so bad for your loss. Take comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain.

  • naiyan August 31, 2011 at 12:24 am

    best wishes to tobi <3

  • Audrie August 31, 2011 at 12:57 am

    I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to Tobi from so far away. I’m sure he didn’t feel abandoned because he knew you loved him. I hope the girls don’t take it too hard either.

  • Gillian August 31, 2011 at 1:20 am

    Hugs to you all. xx

  • Kitty August 31, 2011 at 1:35 am

    I think Tobi understands. He would not want you all to be sad.

  • Leah August 31, 2011 at 2:03 am

    I’m so very sorry! I feel like crying. Loosing a pet is so hard. I can only imagine it’s so much worse if you cannot be there. My thoughts are with you and I’m now getting up to hug my kitty.

  • Heather M August 31, 2011 at 2:12 am

    So sorry! I can’t help but think about animals who prefer to go off alone when they’re near the end. Seemed like he hung on a while after you thought he would… maybe he was waiting?

    Either way, I bet it was good to be him, even at the end.

  • Liz August 31, 2011 at 5:51 am

    I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m sure he’s had a “wonder”-“full” life thanks to you.

  • Claudia August 31, 2011 at 6:02 am

    Hi, maybe it helps your kids (if they have many questions about where the cat has gone now) when you tell them about the rainbow bridge? Cause death is an abstract for children in this age…
    My kids felt better after loosing a pet when I told them about it.But every child is different…
    Take care
    Claudia

  • Louise August 31, 2011 at 8:09 am

    Oh Jenna – just been catching up with you blog as I’ve been on hols and banned myself from blogging (it was hard!). So sorry to hear the sad news about Tobi. From when you first wrote about him, it hit a million and one cords with me and cats I’ve had in my life. It’s a very tough time for you all. Just remember and tell your girls that Tobi had a lovely life as he was lucky enough to have the most amazing family who loved him dearly. Not yet, not for some time ahead, but maybe one day in the future another cat may be lucky enough to win the jackpot and live it life with you and your adorable family. x

  • Jen August 31, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Hi Jenna, I’m so sorry to hear about tobi.. Just want to give you a big hug right now..

  • Rifferaff August 31, 2011 at 8:47 am

    So sorry to hear this. He was quite a handsome little guy. It sounds like he was well taken care of in his final days.

  • Yasmeen August 31, 2011 at 8:48 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Its lovely how well-loved he was.

  • Erin August 31, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Oh, I’m so sorry Jenna. Reading this has made me want to sit down and cuddle my cat for a while {I’d shooed him away this morning and told him to stop being so annoying… now I feel terrible about that}

    Thinking of you guys. Hope Tobi is happily chasing mice in cat heaven right about now…

  • Matty August 31, 2011 at 11:18 am

    I have tears in my eyes. We lost our cat in March.. I am so, so sorry that your family is going through this.. BIG HUG

  • angie August 31, 2011 at 11:22 am

    so sorry to hear about tobi, jenna. 🙁

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