Daaayum. It’s like the city has never dealt with snow before. Like we’re on the West Coast or something and not capable of handling a blizzard. Like we’re living out some scenes from a Will Smith/Dennis Quaid/Morgan Freeman world is ending sort of Hollywood movie. See that sunrise in the first photo? They say that’s a snow day sunrise. Sure, 20 something inches came down, but c’mon New York, I know you’re better than this. What the hell happened? We’re not even in the city to revel in the collective snowpocalypse atmosphere, but still at my parents’ house in the burbs. It’s just quiet here. With nothing to do. Really. Actually, the roads around here are all plowed and we’ve shoveled the car out, but it’s the city that’s the problem. Heard Brooklyn is still a mess – 8pm and the roads are still unsalted and unplowed. Cars are abandoned in the middle of the streets, everything is closed, a garage roof a block away from our house has caved in creating closed roads and more havoc. Craziness. I don’t remember the last time the city was crippled by snow, but as with any natural and unnatural calamities, the internets is going crazy with photos, tweets, eyewitness news reports and general oversaturation of information. Oh, technology. But how else would I know staying out in the burbs is probably a smart idea? This storm is going down in history with the Great Double Tornado of 2010, the Blizzard of 2006, the Blackout of 2004, the Hurricane of 1985, etc. etc.
So what do you do when you’re snowed in?
You make pie. Apple pie with caramelized apple cider. YUM.
You give the kids some leftover dough to play with, but your mom has more fun sculpting things than the kids.
You let the kids discover vintage cartoons on TV. You know, the ones that we grew up watching: Scooby Doo, The Flintstones, Tom & Jerry.
The kids play with their new American Girl dolls that they got for Christmas while you somehow feel defeated by succumbing to American capitalism at its worst. But then you can’t help but be a little too enthusiastic about the gray wool coat that you bought for the dolls and you realize that it’s a lot like your new gray winter coat that you’re wearing these days (oh snap). Oh btw, meet Ivy (Mia’s doll) and Angie (Claudine’s doll).
When all else fails, your dad pulls out his stash of wigs and eyelashes leftover from his wig store including the ones that are custom for Diana Ross, and much to the delight of the kids, proceeds to dress them up like drag queens. Not your idea, his.
And when Claudine casts the eyelashes away, your mom picks them up from the floor and uses them as hair for her leftover pie dough sculptures.