It’s been hard to stay upbeat when there is so much suffering out there. I can stop watching the news or turn away from the images, but that doesn’t seem right either. I want to know what’s going on, I don’t want to push it aside. I’ve been thinking about the recent suicide of the NYU computer science professor as well. If you are unfamiliar with the story, you can read it here if you wish, but the jump from his 16th story balcony allegedly came after an argument with his wife over the care of their premature twins. Not surprisingly, there has been some discussion on whether or not fathers can experience male post-partum depression, which really is a topic that has not been talked about. Also of interest is this related article in the Daily Kos about the ugly and hurtful nature of anonymous commenting. This quote – “the Internet is not a consequence-free playland” – articulated what I’ve been thinking about for a long time, but I’ll save that for another post.
Parenting might be the hardest thing you will do. I know it is for me. There are really good days, there are bad days. And some days are just plain HARD. Yesterday was a really bad day even though we had all the intentions of a good day, especially with the weather thawing to a balmy 46 degrees. It was brilliant outside. We had plans. It wasn’t to be though, from every angle, and I’m still feeling the sting today. But you have to try and move on. The kids quickly do. But it’s disheartening to see a day go sour when you had plans to do something fun because ironically, you realize that you need more joy in your life and a rare day presented itself when every member of the family was free from commitments. It feels defeating.
As bloggers we curate content that is only a small slice of our life. What we choose to share is of our own personal choice and comfort level. I’ve been blogging since 2004 (via popgadget and babygadget). Before that I ran an Asian American webzine with a restaurant and food guide, so in actuality, I’ve been blogging much earlier than that (though we didn’t call it that back then, and good lordy, I had to handcode every single page of that massive site). After 4 years of blogging about baby products and gadgets, I knew that I wanted to return to a format that was much more personal. After a while, writing about pretty things, shopping and products felt empty and tedious, and while I do immensely enjoy reading all the wonderful design blogs out there (I really do!), I find the blogs that I gravitate towards the most these days are ones that are more personal, for all the reasons that some of you commented on in the last few posts (thank you, by the way).
One of my favorite bloggers, Metrodad, only posts once a month, sometimes with even longer lapses, but he has a dedicated reader base, judging by the comments alone, who await his posts. Why do they stick around? Because he’s funny and honest, and you sort of feel like you know the person (or what they choose to reveal) and you start caring about them (kinda weird, right??). I relate to a lot of what he writes and it feels good to be validated about your feelings when others are feeling something similar (and in a coincidence of all coincidences, we actually both wrote pretty much the same post on the same day). But when he revealed that he was in the process of getting a divorce, it was shocking as there were no indications about any problems in the marriage in previous posts. I respect that he held back, but opened up about it when he was ready. Now he blogs about being a single dad.
And so as we approach the 2 year anniversary of the blog, I finally have come to terms with what this blog is after fretting now and again that it might be too personal for a business-related blog. I’ve had some friends raise eyebrows about how personal it is, only because they wonder what customers might think when they see posts about kids and bits of our life when they were just expecting….what, cookies? I don’t know. I’ve thought about taking the link off of our W&S website for this reason, but I’ve decided to leave it alone. In my mind, it’s almost impossible to separate our life from the business. We started the business, among other reasons, because we wanted to make a change from restaurant life so that Mark can spend more time with the kids. All of that – dealing with business stress as we struggle of find a balance with family life, the challenges of being a dual self employed household in one of the most expensive cities in the world, figuring out the logistics of pushing 15 packages headed to the post office in a granny cart while walking your kid to school – all of that is intertwined. I doubt that if I was just writing about cookies, you’d stick around. All of it is a part of our story.