…which has my heart.
Turning the corner towards the public access to the beach, with the first view of Haystack Rock, made my heart ache. Like I was waiting to feel this feeling all trip long.
It’s been a good 14 years since I’ve been back. Even before I made the Northwest my home I spent a few summer weeks on Cannon Beach with my then boyfriend’s family, who rented a house every year for the month of July. When I moved out west, I stayed with them again for a few weeks the next 2 summers. The Oregon Coast was a special place for them and when his parents finally retired, they made it their permanent home.
Walking the beach at dusk on that cloudy Saturday evening with the kids, I thought about that first summer here, 20 years ago. I remember the early morning walks, the fridge that was always full of berries and freshly washed lettuce, dried and stored in Tupperware containers, and I remember the spectacular sunsets. His parents were like family to me – we were close – and having had 5 boys of their own, I think they enjoyed having a girl around the house. Even after the boy and I split up after 3 years, I kept in touch with the parents through letters and holiday cards.
I haven’t been in touch with them in well over 12 years, but I thought about them hard that evening. The last I heard, the father had some health issues and they may have even taken an apartment in Portland to be closer to the hospital. Though I don’t know for sure, I had a sense that he might not be around anymore. It made me sad. It made me sadder still that I hadn’t kept in touch.
We may promise and have the best intentions to keep in touch with the people who are important in our lives, but sometimes it does not always work out to be. Sometimes, certain relationships run their course and in the end…you have to let go.