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June 10, 2010 |  Category:   life

Dear friends, I’m finally emerging, I think, from a really dark place. It’s not so much the “stuff” that’s happened, though I can say that this has been a pretty crappy year so far in many respects, but at its worst, your mind and imagination can be your enemy. I don’t recall ever going through such debilitating daily turmoil, but I think I have turned a corner after a few traumatic weeks, finally.

Sometimes, however, life has a way keeping you on your toes when you start getting comfortable. After some not so good news earlier this week, I’m left wondering what to do with myself. I’ve been through this before, I’ll survive, but I have to laugh because I feel like this has been a year of tests. On the upside, I’ll have time to breathe and refocus on some things that I’ve been putting off. I’ll try to enjoy the summer and regroup later. The important thing is that I’m feeling lighter in my heart and mind these days. The rest of life? You just have to fly with it.

Thanks to Christie, Nichole, Liza, Alison and mom.

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  • alexandra June 10, 2010 at 10:36 am

    that is the spirit! good luck in everything, and never forget how life (besides its misfortunes) is amazing.*

  • mau June 10, 2010 at 10:50 am

    if it makes you feel better, just know you’re not alone in feeling this way. i hope things start looking up for you soon.

  • Lara Sopchak June 10, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Oh, nice, Jenna. I feel such relief knowing you’re feeling better. And what lovely, fitting pictures to accompany your post. Take care.

  • Adele @ modernemotive June 10, 2010 at 11:18 am

    I feel like life has been testing me for 2 very long years so I hear where you are coming from. I thought 2010 would be different, it wasn’t but like you said, you just have a fly with it. And like you, I feel like I’m turning a corner. 🙂

  • nichole June 10, 2010 at 11:24 am

    I think this is a corner. A good corner. And the view once you turn it will look a lot more like what you visioned at the start of 2010.

  • bronwyn June 10, 2010 at 11:26 am

    Good to hear you’re turning a corner. I feel like this has been a rough few weeks/months for a lot of people – in blogland and in real life. Hopefully, summer will be just what everyone needs.

  • cyndi June 10, 2010 at 11:44 am

    I’ve been struggling lately with an overwhelming sense of anxiety and I totally understand how your mind can be your enemy. I’ve always had an overactive imagination and right now that’s not a great thing as it’s been spinning out of control. Each day I hope to feel more myself and while I have moments of feeling ok, I’m not back to “normal” yet. I’m so happy you’ve turned a corner and are emerging from that dark place and really hope that continues to be the case. I wish you the best of luck dealing with the not so good news you received earlier this week. I pray your mind is no longer your enemy 🙂

  • Lecia June 10, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I’m sorry to hear it’s been so hard and about your bad news earlier this week. I’m so glad you’re feeling like you’re turning a corner…

  • The French June 10, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Perhaps this is a little cheesy, but I’ve always loved this saying…

    “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

    Glad things are starting to look up:)

  • claire June 10, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    I said a prayer for you today — that everything will be better and that you will be blessed with patience and strength as “better” arrives on your doorstep. Hang in there, girl!

  • Jane June 10, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    I think many of us can sympathize! Sometimes it just feels like the whole world is going topsy-turvy and its all you can do to just hang on and not get swept up in it all. Just keep on plugging away at life, that’s all there is to it I think!

  • .amanda June 10, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    I recently found out that I am being cut from my school district’s art program and I have been devastated. It has felt like I have mourned the death of a loved one this past month…the emotions are unreal…denial, anger, sadness.

    As much as everyone around me has patted me on the back and offered me words of encouragement, only you can get through your personal struggles mentally. I hope you have much, much brighter days soon!

  • scentual soundtracks June 10, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    I have felt the same way this past year. It was definitely a traumatic one for me, too, for so many reasons. ‘Tis the season for renewal. What a beautiful thing!

  • Chuzai Living June 10, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    I am very glad to know that you are feeling lighter on your heart and mind. Good luck with the rest of year. I agree with you that you just have to fly with it. It sounds poetic. I love your writing style.

  • Pawan June 11, 2010 at 1:30 am

    Hey, Jenna.

    I like never, EVER comment on blogs. I’ve been quietly reading yours for a while now and felt compelled to do so today… I’m not a terribly religious person but someone once said this to me and it kind of struck a chord:
    “If God brings you to it, he will see you through it.”
    Take care, you’re doing something really great.

  • Denise in PA June 11, 2010 at 10:41 am

    You know, I think this year has been like that for a lot of people (including us). I am glad you are emerging – here’s to a terrific 2nd half of 2010 for all!

  • J June 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    I agree with Pawan. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Hang in there. In the meantime, I think you’re doing a fabulous job as a mom!

  • Karen June 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    One of my favorite sayings is that everything happens for a reason. You may not know, see or understand the reason right now, but give it time. My other favorite saying? “onward”. These are the times I am most grateful for my children, because there’s nothing like kids to get your mind out of your mind.

  • Alison C June 11, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    That’s really good to hear.

  • Lahi June 12, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Aloha

    Not sure what all has occured this year, but I felt it was important to remind you to Pray, “pule” as we say in Hawaiian
    Even prayers of thanksgiving and praise will lift your spirits. I once read a book that totally made sense and many friends have read the same and have been extremely touched by it. “why bad things happen to good people” pick up a copy. Remember look towards the Sun, and it’s a good reminder for us that No matter what is happening in our lives, or in the world it will always rise!
    Same place and every day!!
    Aloha ke Akua

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