nobody told me there’d still be days like this

June 21, 2011 |  Category:   life parenting

Seriously…I thought the hormonal, emotional crying days were over when I weaned the last kid off diapers, but nobody told me that it doesn’t end there. And I wonder why I felt so off kilter all last week. I don’t do well with goodbyes. Like at all. Especially when it signals something significant, like the end of some kind of era. But it’s been in the air lately and with it, the tendency to drop tears at any random moment. For example, at Mia’s end of the year ballet recital, it wasn’t the sight of my child prancing diagonally across the studio floor with toes pointed and arms bent in a circle that made me emotional. No, it was witnessing one of the dance teachers present flowers and saying goodbye to her 2 long-time students who were moving out of the country that turned on the waterworks. The goodbye lasted all of 20 seconds and involved 3 people who I didn’t even know, who I’d never even seen before, wtf?

I thought my weepy, hormonal baby days were over. It’s probably been a good 2 years since I cried watching a sappy Mastercard “priceless” commercial. Guess not, because apparently, parenthood is ripe full of opportunities for emotional moments. It sort of never ends. Last week I was overwhelmed with the ending of preschool for Claudine. It’s a program that both she and Mia attended since they were babies. We spent the last 6 years walking up the hill from our house to the park, climbing up those heavy stone stairs guarded by a pair of regal lion sculptures to the entrance of the school. It’ll be weird not to take that walk every day come Fall and be greeted by some of the teachers who have taught both girls over the years.

Kids Claudine’s age don’t seem to quite understand the heaviness of goodbyes. She ended her last day of preschool today like any other. The sadness and significance of this ending is all on me (I may or may not have had to fight back tears on the walk home from school the last 2 days). Mia, on the other hand, wraps up another school year in a week and she’s already exhibiting some anxiety over having to say goodbye to her teacher. (Actually, I think all the parents this year are too as Mia’s 1s grade teacher was really quite exceptional). So I think to myself…every June is going to be emotional like this? *faceplant*

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  • Ana June 21, 2011 at 5:39 am

    precious ballerinas!

  • PInk Ronnie June 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

    I just love that first photo of Claudine. She is so gorgeous, Jenna!

  • Susan June 21, 2011 at 8:33 am

    So sweet….

  • Laura June 21, 2011 at 8:57 am

    I too was sad when my daughter finished preschool…it is such a milestone. And now i am getting sad thinking about my son starting preschool next year! Ugh, the milestones get me every time.

  • Denny June 21, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Change is hard, Jenna.
    Well on the flip side, something has to end for another to begin.

  • Cozette June 21, 2011 at 11:17 am

    It was really interesting to read your post this morning as last night I went to a screening of the documentary, The Kids Grow Up. It comes out on DVD in July. The film is about the relationship between the filmmaker and his only daughter who is about to go off to college and he’s an emotional wreck – not ready to let her grow up. I’m not a parent yet but it’s really interesting to contemplate these moments in life where for the child they are moving on, growing up and becoming who they are and all of that is extremely positive but for the parent it signifies a sort of loss and nostalgia. Anyways – just wanted to share! I love your blog – have been reading along for ages!

  • wendy June 21, 2011 at 11:32 am

    oh boy, thanks for the warning! not sure if you saw that google chrome commercial showing a dad writing emails with photos and video attachments to his daughter. it brings on the tears every time i watch it.

  • jen June 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    i think it just comes with being a mom. i’m not a sentimental or weepy person but after i had kids, my eyes mist up over anything these days. i took my son to see Kung Fu Panda 2. this movie made me cry!

  • Megan June 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    I was crying at the goodbye to the girls moving to Brazil as well! I’d never seen them or their teacher before either. I blamed it on “just having had a baby” hormones! (Though, er, he is 18 months now and clearly that excuse is no longer viable. Darnnit.) Now I want to know more about that moment and try to understand why it had such an impact….

  • Sandy June 21, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    you’re a good mom. i have a sensitive kindergartener—he started balling 10 minutes before the class even let out, which got the teacher reaching for her kleenex. good-byes are tough.

  • sylvï June 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    hey – i’ve never had babies, don’t even want to, but i’m every bit as hormonally teary all the time. i’m not sure if it’s called being a woman or just plain being human.

  • gizella June 21, 2011 at 6:07 pm