You know what’s great? The comments to the last post. Because it seems that people can relate and it has nothing to do with age. 24, 60, 40, whatever, you get what I’m saying. That’s sort of cool, that despite what path, age, or circumstance we’re all in, we can find common ground in our issues. I think my particular issue with confidence at this moment, however, is largely age specific and it only pertains to design, which, admittedly, is a big part of my identity and life. I feel like maybe I was much more cocky when I was younger, particularly when I was in music and grad school. I know I was and I can sort of cringe about it now.
But can I just say something as an older and questionably wiser person (bwahaha, totally kidding)? This addresses the comments some of you left of feeling trapped and not taking risks. There are definitely some things that have held me back because of self esteem issues, but it has never really stopped me from taking risks because I was too afraid. I think the fear of having regrets because of not taking chances is far more frightening than the fear of failure or the temptation of staying in your comfort zone. I think if you look back on your life, you’ll discover that you take more risks than you realize, even if you don’t think this is in your nature. There are days when I feel like our whole life is just one rocky boat of risk – I mean guys, neither of us have traditional steady day jobs. And when I look back on the time I got pregnant with Mia way back in 2003 (and it was no accident, but calculated to the point of hilarity) it could have been a huge wtf moment to any outsider. I had just been laid off from my job and health insurance because of the tech bubble bust. No paychecks, no job prospects, no health insurance with Mark just starting a new job that only barely covered half of our expenses and I decide that this is the time to have a baby? What kind of asinine, reckless decision is that coming from a (mostly) sensible person? You could say the same about starting the business, and I think some family members had.
I think we take risks all the time by just living life. I think it takes balls to overcome and push through every day despite all of our issues and neurosis. So just pat yourself on the back, will ya? I’ll try to do the same.
And take it from the wisdom of a 4 year old who is painting right now and just said out loud, “I’m a really good artist”.
Oh, and one more nugget of goodness for your weekend. I’ve been listening to this record from The Avalanches for 10 years and never knew they made videos. I dare you not to smile at this one. And if you watch till the end, there might be some sort of related message about life in there somewhere.