the days look like this

March 23, 2012 |  Category:   life

Hazy, but too early for summery light. Still, the late afternoon glows with a summer preview. I hear it’s ending though and we’re crashing back to more normal temps of low 60s which is fairly laughable because in other circumstances we’d be celebrating 60 degree weather. We’ll probably be complaining about the weather in a few days since the weather is something that people love to complain about, but in all honesty it might be hard to put jackets, or even possibly boots, on after 2 weeks without them.

 

For those of you who have commented about the earrings post and questioning why it was a big deal, yes, piercing baby’s ears after birth is a cultural thing that we don’t generally practice here unless you are of that culture. It’s a much bigger “coming of age” kind of deal. When we visited my brother last year and his newborn baby girl did have tiny gold studs in her ear (he’s married to a Latino woman), Mia was sorta pissed after hearing “later” from me repeatedly for a year and couldn’t understand why her baby cousin had earrings and she didn’t. But really, how could you explain to a 7 year old that it was a matter of cultural differences in a way that she would understand? Well, sometimes I don’t understand, but truth is you’re still conditioned to think in some ways that you were raised even if you were rolling your eyes and rebelling about it back then.

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  • Annie From Seattle March 23, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Earrings are a very big deal for people. M got hers as a reward after a great school year. I think she was about 8 or 9. Would you believe that people made snide comments to me for months afterwards? I just laughed it off but…seriously. It’s a minefield.

    Now, of course, she’s borrowing my favorite earrings. Sniff. Growing up.

  • Atsuko March 23, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    I understand what you meant about the culture. I do not have my own child, yet. But when my husband and I discuss about parenting, I can see our differences are truly influenced by how we were raised. He is 100% White, and I am 100% Asian. I said, “If we have a high school age child, he or she has to be home by 7 because that’s how I had to” He laughed at me so hard. Then, he said, “Here is America. I didn’t have to get home till midnight when I was in a high school.” One cultural difference… Also, we hold a different perspective on piercing. I was not allowed to have it till age 20. I had to convince my parents so hard. However, in his case, he just got it when he was a teenager without parents’ permission. I think that I will raise my child more in ways I was raised because I respect my parents’ parenting. Of course, I will assimilate his opinions, too because we came from different cultural backgrounds and he is also a parent of our child. All in all, I think that is the reason why I am very interested in your Mixed Race Project.
    P.S. What a beautiful photo! Oh NYC.

  • Elle March 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    I’m 28 and my parents would still be taken aback if I pierced my ears. I come from a Christian conservative background where jewelry was seen as “too flashy.” I never cared about earrings but I like to occasionally don funky necklaces or rings.
    Also, My mom cried when she found out I got a tattoo.

  • Leatitia @ The Sweetest Year March 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    What a breathtaking photograph. It is gorgeous. NYC is all his glory.

    Seeing that Pier and that bridge, it makes me tear up. I had such a great time visiting the city, I long for a visit post-baby. I need a break.

  • z March 23, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    In my family you don’t get earrings until you are responsible enough to be trusted not to lose them. I always thought that was reasonable, though more subjective than a birthday of course.

    But when I was 8, my aunt and uncle would let my younger cousins stay up late when they visited, and my parents still made me go to bed at 8 PM. So unfair!!! It still burns.

  • Jen March 23, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    My sister got yelled at even when she put earring STICKERS on her ears. Ok,so that’s just because my dad is crazy… but I didn’t get my ears pierced until I was in highschool. I am Chinese, in case that makes a difference. πŸ™‚

  • Sora March 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    I remember getting my ears pierced when I was 5. It was a very big deal and a co-worker of my father took me to the mall to get it done. There is a b&w photo of me standing on the steps of an apartment with my new stud earrings. It is definitely a rite of passage. My parents were very strict with me, so I’m actually surprised that I got to have them done so early. I bet Mia is loving it!

  • CCC March 23, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I have to respond because this topic is too funny because I experienced the total opposite of what it seems others have. For me (my parents are Italian) it was strictly cultural. You have a baby girl, boom, you pierce her ears. That is just how it is. Period. You do not ask questions about this.
    When I had my daughter 6 years ago I WAITED until she was 9 months old before I pierced her ears. I can not tell you the back lash/comments I was constantly getting from my mother, my grandmother, etc as to WHY my daughter still looked like a boy. The one thing they could not take into consideration was that I no longer lived on Long Island (I don’t think I need to explain to you about that), I live in New England now so piercing was a whole other world.
    Of course, as soon as I got my daughter’s ears pierced at 9 months, my family was happy, but my friends, neighbors, community in NE were practically fainting. I had to step over some people who just had to tell me that “they” had to wait until “they” were 17. Well, guess what? “THEY” don’t have an Italian mother/grandmother/aunt/sister up “their” behind!
    Moral of the story, do what makes you happy and gives you PEACE.

  • Pink Ronnie March 24, 2012 at 6:59 am

    This is totally unrelated, but just wanted to say how I like the small coffee cup in the photo! πŸ™‚
    Ronnie xo

  • Isahrai March 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    I just had a baby girl last November while living in Mexico and I opted not to pierce her ears. I am chastised every single day for this – even so far as being accused of child abuse for subjecting her to years of gender confusion! I can’t do anything but laugh it off. I’ve seen far too many 2 year olds walking around with infected ears to even consider it. This coming from a mother with 7 ear holes and 5 tattoos…

  • tina March 24, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    this picture of NY is so beautiful. I can’t stop looking at it.

  • kin March 25, 2012 at 11:04 am

    my ears were pierced when i was three. i had a mom who always wanted me to be more and more ‘girly’ – making me wear frilly dresses to friend’s birthday parties when they were all in shorts and t-shirts, curling my hair before school or church, etc. once my ears were pierced i ALWAYS had little gold hoops or stars in them throughout elementary school. i’m 24 now and i occasionally wear earrings to fancy events in my pierced ears, but don’t really care one way or the other. if they hadn’t been done at three they probably never ever would have because i have never given a shit about jewellery unless it was particularly sentimental. so as far as i can see – at least mia wanted to have them done and will probably enjoy them forever! haha.

    p.s. i too like the scale of that wee coffee cup beneath the vast hazy expanse of the city πŸ™‚

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