Are we at that point where we’re evaluating the year now that it’s November? My mind is certainly wandering that way. I think overall 2013 was a good year, though admittedly we have some of the most hectic weeks in the business still to come. I don’t feel like life, however, has necessarily progressed forward these past few years and this year was no different in that regard. It’s hard breaking out of a rut, isn’t it? Especially when there are so many moving parts that need to work together to make a household run smoothly. Sometimes it’s safer to coast on what you know. Sometimes there isn’t really any time to break the cycle, not when you have to constantly run to make life work.
I’m craving change, yet there is also this feeling like things are going relatively well right now so why upset the balance? Certainly, there are little changes that happen all the time, but I’m talking about that kind of change that makes you question if you’re crazy, that makes you feel scared and giddy at the same time, that makes sense one minute, but not the next.
But life keeps moving along, so much so that sometimes you don’t realize how much time has passed. Then suddenly…you are here. Here is not bad. In fact, it’s pretty good. It’s just confusing sometimes when pretty good can feel like not enough.
The biggest change around here are the girls. I find parenting this age tougher than when they were babies and toddlers. Not only are we nurturers and providers, but we are also now therapists, tutors, guidance counselors, mediators and personal assistants. Sometimes I find myself questioning my parenting skills; I think we all do one time or another. I worry that I’m not doing enough and other times I worry that I’m interfering too much. There have been tough times here lately on the family front, and this…this is what I need to keep reminding myself…that when I feel the pressure to do “more” with my life because it seems like everyone around me is on a fast track upwards, I need to remember that the girls need me now, more than ever.