why do we blog?

April 23, 2013 |  Category:   life me rambling



About a year ago, a friend of mine hurled some words at me during an exchange that weirdly escalated into an uncomfortable misunderstanding and it stuck with me like an annoying fly all these months later. I wanted to ignore it, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t even directly related to what we were arguing about and it was an offhanded remark, maybe even a cheap shot, but there was some truth to it. It made me examine some of the reasons why we blog and put ourselves out there in social media. Is blogging a creative release? Yes. Is it self promotional for the business? Sure. Is it a way to connect with people and form some sort of community? Yeah, I guess so. But is blogging also narcissistic? Probably, to some extent.


But here’s a tougher question, and the point that was being inferred by my friend’s remark: Am I relying too much on the blog and twitter for validation and approval from others (mostly strangers at that) rather than seeking acceptance from within? Is it to fill some sort of void, an emptiness, a loneliness, to declare that I am here so I don’t feel invisible otherwise? Um…ouch.
I think it goes without saying that it feels good when someone likes or retweets a post or leaves a comment. Let’s not mince words here; it’s an ego boost, however small (“somebody likes me!”). When it doesn’t happen or starts happening less, you start questioning yourself – your words, your work, your product. I’m not that self confident that I’m immune to this. Far from it in fact, and I hate that at this age I still struggle with some of the same insecurity around friendships, socialization and acceptance that I dealt with in middle school. I’m asking you, as a 42 43 year old woman, why does this bullshit still happen? Aren’t we past this? Or does all of this information saturation on social media make it too easy to fall into old traps of insecurity and comparisons?
Clearly, I have a lot of work to do on myself. At this age, again.
I was changing one of the lights in the bathroom the other day and the bulb slipped out of my hands and shattered to pieces in the sink. It immediately took me back to high school. Why? One of the more memorable and challenging assignments in junior year drawing class was drawing a light bulb. We had to put a light bulb in a padded bag, smash it, spill out the pieces onto a surface and draw exactly how it landed. You could choose your perspective from where you wanted to draw, but you couldn’t move the pieces. Sounds like some metaphor for life, doesn’t it? It’s funny, but I just stared at the broken light bulb for 5 minutes thinking back to a time when I used to have so much more focus to study and draw that intently for hours at a time, uninterrupted. Where has the focus gone? In those days, the world was smaller and I only sought validation and approval from my little circle, not from thousands of strangers. It feels a bit unsettling to realize this.
So, I don’t want to blog for the wrong reasons (wrong for me, that is). I want to blog because it’s still a creative outlet and it still helps promote our business. As for the rest – self confidence, self acceptance and validation – I’m just going to have to spend time with myself without some of the distractions and noise of social media to tackle that one, despite the fear of feeling disconnected or irrelevant.
Sometimes criticism hurts because the truth hurts. But sometimes criticism can make you face something that you didn’t want to see before.

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  • Carol April 23, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    I’m a 53 year old woman and I can tell you it works both ways. When I leave a comment on a blog that is followed by 100s or perhaps 1000s of people, and the owner of the blog replies to ME, I feel famous by association. It’s weird.
    But please, don’t stop blogging the “personal” stuff. I go on Facebook now and all I see is self promotion. There are no “Friends” left there, just tireless self promotion. It is refreshing to read something real.

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 5:57 pm

      Oh, I’m not going to stop blogging about the personal stuff. It’s not about the content, it’s more about the possibility that perhaps, as pointed out by my friend, the validation of an audience (readers, followers) was more important than I wanted to admit.

      • Audrey April 25, 2013 at 6:15 pm

        This is quite rare and honest reading this. Thank you for this point of view i share. This justifies perhaps precisely blogger. So keep goin’.

  • dolittledesign April 23, 2013 at 5:25 pm

    Beautifully said.

  • Aya April 23, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Thanks Jenna. This hit a chord with me. I have a small blog and I sometimes wonder why I do it. I wonder if it’s detrimental to me by making me less motivated to socialize because I have the camaraderie with faraway internet friends. I wonder if I am becoming too reliant on their approval and ask myself why I feel uncomfortable if people in my “real life” know about my blog self. Is it because my vanity and self-absorption would be exposed? I think the answer to many of these questions is “yes” and yet I enjoy connecting with others. I enjoy sharing my life and learning about others. So I continue, despite my reservations. I appreciate that you wonder these things too.

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 6:08 pm

      I know what you mean about the vanity and self absorption being exposed. Why does it make us feel uncomfortable? Is it underlying insecurity? This is the stuff that is making me look at all of this.

  • nina April 23, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    I blog because I like it and it causes no harm and possibly, when I do it well enough, brings some tiny pleasure to others. Are you maybe too hard on yourself in probing for the deeper meaning of it all? We do so many things for so many reasons — is it really important to isolate all of them? So long as it brings you pleasure and there is no discernible harm, then why not?

  • Rachel April 23, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Thank you for being so candid! I think we all have narcissistic tenancies, that’s part of being human. I can identify with a lot of what you wrote in this post.

    I quit facebook because it fed into my vanity and pre-occupation with what others think of me. You might not be able to relate to my specific situation, because I think it’s kind of a trap for teens/young women (I’m 19), but my problem was with posting “pretty” profile pics or “witty” wall posts and lying in wait for the likes. πŸ™‚ It’s feels kind of pathetic to type that out, but it is what it is. I suspect most of my friends and other girls on FB post for the same reasons I did… validation, to be noticed, to show off. It feels degrading.

    I think the barometer for how healthy/unhealthy social media is has something to do with how much time you spend on it and whether you start to feel uneasy about your intentions. Trust yourself. Don’t worry too much about negative repercussions to your business if you start to alter your approach to the blog.

    Everyone struggles with this balance of where to draw the line between public/private. It’s hard to define what your TRUE intentions are behind your actions, but I think it’s important to consider and something that needs to be reassessed regularly.

    It’s so refreshing to hear you think out loud, Jenna! I found your blog via your yummy food pics and never expected this kind of introspection.


    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      You are wise. And I am more than 2x your age, but you articulated some points much better than I could. Sadly, i don’t think the what you pointed out is just a “trap” as you called it, for young people because I certainly see it happen still with people much older than that. Still! Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that perspective from someone much younger than me.

  • Christie April 23, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    Thank you, Jenna. I’ve been examining my own reasons for logging onto FB. =/

  • erin//suchsmallsteps April 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    I’ve given this a lot of thought this year. My blog is small, but I definitely have started to get that insecure feeling you describe when I don’t get the stats or comments on a particular post. And a feeling of jealousy sometimes seeing other small blogs get bigger for various reasons. The crazy thing is, I don’t feel any of that in my “real life” or with my in-person friends. So that’s a sign for me that I’ve become too dependent on social media and too invested in it, which is definitely a problem. I’m trying to take a step back from that side of things, and to reach out to friends more in person so that I realize how silly worrying about that validation really is. Plus, when I thought honestly about my blog, I realized that I’m ok with certain aspects of being small, including not worrying about exposure for my kids, being able to write more freely. My long-term goal is not to be a full-time blogger, so reflecting on that has helped focus me to a certain extent.

  • Renita April 23, 2013 at 6:44 pm

    Damed if you do, damned if you don’t … Blogs are a wonderful way to visually recall what is happening, what was happening, what you hope to have happen. I personally don’t allow comments on my blog, because I don’t want to hear the noise (perhaps a fear of lack of approval?-maybe) But everyone has their own method of expression, social media or not … by the way love the photo ……………… and your blog

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 8:23 pm

      thank you for all your comments, purchases and support over the years Renita!

  • Jessica H. April 23, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    I believe it’s impossible not to seek approval and validation from others. We wouldn’t be able to evaluate better from worse, unless through comparison. I like to know what people think about my work, as an artist and writer, but I take some comments more lightly/seriously than others. I think it would be a lie for those of us who blog or use social media to say that we’re doing it only for ourselves. The whole point of those tools is to connect with people. I know I use it to connect with others on some level, whether it’s because I’m lonely or have something to share. We put ourselves out there in our blog and social media accounts, and it would be too unrealistic for us to expect people not to react. As humans with emotions, we should also expect to be affected by those reactions to some extent. It doesn’t mean we lack self confidence, acceptance or validation. It just means that even if we are self confident, we are human. We feel.

    P.S. The bulb exercise sounds fun. I’ll have to try my hand at it when I have time.

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 8:30 pm

      You make a lot of valid points and I agree with many of them. I think you’re right that it’s likely impossible to not seek approval and validation from others, but here is where I make the difference in my situation – I AM questioning whether or not I lack self confidence and acceptance, and hence this post. That’s sort of the root of where this is coming from. And yeah…the lightbulb exercise. I might want to try it again myself. It’s hard! Drawing clear glass fragments…

  • Andrea Howe April 23, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth, or head. I often feel trapped in that same 13 year old body when online. Trying hard not to feel some sort of strange resentment when strangers I don’t really know get handed an opportunity I was passed up for, or not to get too excited when a certain “cool” someone online notices my work or whatever. It is so strange to get caught up in that and also tor realize that you’re caught up in it. You’re not alone, that’s for sure…

  • Leigh Tsang April 23, 2013 at 7:51 pm


    I think you are such a wonderful writer. I have never left a comment before, but I like to read your blog. I have tried to blog but I find life gets in the way. I’m so impressed how committed you are and that you can practice your craft everyday. Would it be different if you wrote a book? Keep blogging, it’s a good thing you have talent. Leigh

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 11:19 pm

      Thanks Leigh. I’m not really sure what I would write a book about though it’s certainly an intriguing idea. Also, I think my writing style is fitting within this particular format. A book though? Hmm…not sure considering I don’t think of myself as a writer.

  • Kate April 23, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    This is so crazy as I’ve been picking away at a post about this very same thing after I got two emails that hurt like crazy from blog readers in the past few months asking me basically why my blog sucks so much lately as they felt it’s just self promotion (which I don’t totally agree with, but oh well). And all I could think was, what is the POINT? I really struggle with that lately.

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 8:37 pm

      well those are sucky emails to get, geez. My readership is down from 2 years ago, and even last year, so even though I haven’t gotten any emails like that, who knows. I’m sure some people out there are thinking the same!? But yeah…why even send an email like that to someone? I still see the value of blogging most days. Sometimes I wonder, however, what the point of twitter is these days.

  • Joya April 23, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    I have similar thoughts regarding blogging and social media. Recently a few close relationships have felt altered by social media and I feel like leaving FB all the time. So why don’t I?

    This morning I read this reposted from a friend:

    It made me think that even in my mid-30’s I feel like I’m back in middle school with the likes and comments or lack there of.

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 11:29 pm

      Thanks for that link – stats, numbers, ranking. yikes.

  • Briar April 23, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    This is wise, relevant and thought-provoking, Jenna. Thank you for putting it out there. As a small-business owner myself, I use social media to help my business grow, but I’m also a bit conflicted about feeling forced to put myself out there so much, just to feel like I’m keeping up with things…this is a topic that deserves more attention.

  • yj April 23, 2013 at 10:02 pm

    Jenna, as for the bit about validation, confidence and acceptance, I think we’re all working on that (at least I am… I went to a workshop by Sharon Melnick two weeks ago and she talks about it in her book Success Under Stress)…

    But, I think you’re hitting the right point about blogging to share, communicate, be creative and also talk about your business. I learn so much from blogs.

    For example, there are a lot of recipes I wouldn’t try if Deb Perlman of Smittenkitchen didn’t try it first and then add her tweak which makes them accessible. Plus, I just don’t have that time/devotion to scour magazines, cookbooks, etc to find these great recipes and flavors, but rely on her careful curation.

    As for your promoting your business, it’s great, b/c while I don’t buy fancy cookies on a regular basis, if I am looking for some, I am likely to go find you at Brooklyn Flea because not only are the cookies super yummy, I can get behind the business and like supporting it, none of which I would know unless I read your blog!

    • Jenna April 24, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      I’m glad to hear that. I sometimes do wonder if this blog is too much of a disconnect from the business and do wonder if that hurts the business at all. Maybe it does, or not. I will probably never know!

  • Courtney April 23, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    You blog because you want to. It’s something you enjoy, and we enjoy reading your posts. I wouldn’t overthink it.

  • Rachel April 23, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    Uffda…I definitely struggle with this as well. I keep taking long breaks from blogging because I don’t want to be blogging for the wrong reasons, so this topic has been on my mind for awhile now. The inconclusive conclusion I’ve been slowly coming to is that it’s impossible to avoid at least a small level or narcissism, need for validation, etc., but the self-awareness of those things is an important first step so that you can take your writing and blogging to the next level. If that makes sense. Like I said, it’s inconclusive. =]

  • heather April 23, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Hey Jenna,
    I always appreciate your blog and your honest approach within it!
    Your post reminded me of the documentary Teenage Paparazzo that I watched recently. It follows a kid who has become a paparazzo in LA and slowly shifts to pop culture’s over-fascination with fame. The film touches on the whole validation aspect that happens on social media and why we as a culture seem to crave this. It articulated some of my own feelings of insecurity that I often have when I’m online and don’t get enough likes or follows or pins as I would have hoped.
    I also have thought a lot about my own kids and their relationship to social media as they get older. I don’t think the issues around gaining approval online are going to go away as they start socializing online. Somehow I would hope there can be a way for some of the positive slants of building a broader community online can overshadow the more negative slants that are becoming more common and so destructive.

  • Brenda April 23, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    Jenna, you always find an endearing way of putting your readers thoughts into words. I think that you (and other bloggers) do it because you are creating a community. Community is so important and it’s becoming redefined in our digital era, by people like you. Also, although it’s a creative outlet, it’s also time and work. It’s work that you get something out of and that other people also get something out of. You touch lives and you make others feel good, understood, and not alone in our feelings. As for the blogging / feedback / self confidence equation, I really wonder if we gain self confidence thru the positive feedback we get in anything we do, or if it truly needs to come from within. I’m not suggesting an answer, I just find the question interesting. Others can tell you a million times how great you are, but unless YOU feel great, it really doesn’t resonate. It might put a smile on your face in that moment, but is it confidence building ?

    • Jenna April 23, 2013 at 11:30 pm

      Brenda yes. That is exactly it, your last 2 sentences.

    • Laura April 24, 2013 at 12:25 am

      So well said, Brenda. Must not rely on other’s praise to build up our confidence. Better blogging comes from inner smiles that are already there…and authentic posts like this one. πŸ™‚

  • nikkiana April 23, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    I’ve been waiting all day for the words to come to me to respond to this post because it resonated with me deeply… I think there’s this delicate line to walk between being narcissistic and just simply putting ourselves out there because we desire to be a part of the community that exists online and want to connect with people we might not otherwise get the opportunity to connect with.

  • camille April 24, 2013 at 12:59 am

    I know what you mean. I’ve gotten frustrated with many other blogs that seem narcissistic to me. But I’ve always returned to this blog for your honest voice and the fact that you share both highs and lows with us readers. Thanks for grappling with this stuff!

    • joya April 24, 2013 at 5:14 pm

      I feel the same Velika. This is one of the very few (maybe one out of three blogs) I read regularly.

      • joya April 24, 2013 at 5:15 pm

        Sorry, Camille. My iPhone looked like it was replying to another post name. πŸ™‚

  • mΓ‘ni April 24, 2013 at 4:36 am

    i think you have to look at it from the other side as well…why do we read blogs? i love reading personal blogs, see how people live and get to know them a bit through that. it can be very inspiring but i also get to see that everyone has their struggles and issues, especially people who are as open as you. i appreciate that a lot and thank you for it! the internet is not only a bad place it can give so much as well. it would be terrible if creative people stopped sharing their art with the world just because they don’t want to come across narcissistic.

  • Sky April 24, 2013 at 5:47 am

    hi jenna,
    i am a fan of your blog because your writing sometimes reflect how i feel about life (financial security, children) and you put your emotions into words more eloquently than I would ever have the time to do so. so, sometimes, i feel validated just by reading your blog. i blog (am able to resist facebook) but because i’m an introvert, i only give out my blog information to a few people. writing gives me a lot of clarity and that’s the main reason i blog. secondly, with so much good images online, it gives me a great repository to organize visual ideas. i guess i’m not in a great position to understand the “self-confidence/validation” part but i just want you to know that for what you are doing (on this blog), you are also validating our (the silent readers/lurkers’) emotions and i don’t feel anything wrong with this (i.e. mutual commiseration and validating).
    there are some bloggers whom, reading between the lines, i could sense they are blogging for the sake of blogging and have somewhat lost that “authenticity”. i have since stopped reading them. i guess what i’m saying is that, if you are blogging for the wrong reasons, it would be evident to some readers and by choice, they would fade away…

  • juju April 24, 2013 at 7:34 am

    you managed to put into words so many conflicting thoughts that go through my head all.the.time. i worry about my friends and readers who may make certain judgments about me based on what i put out on my blog. but somehow, i continue to blog b/c at the end of the day, i just want to be me. whether that’s pretty, ugly, not-so-perfect, annoying, whatever. for what it’s worth, i find so much fun, comfort, and valuable lessons and information through your blog. hope you never stop writing.

  • Tosh April 24, 2013 at 8:43 am

    First time commenting but a long time reader. As a new blogger, I’ve been asking myself the same question. I look at blogging as an outlet for me to express myself. I get a little thrill when I receive an email that someone liked my post my post but I do question myself when I don’t receive any feedback. I don’t care but then I do… it’s a never ending cycle with me.

    Thanks for writing this.

  • Lauren S. April 24, 2013 at 9:09 am

    I call bull****.

    Why do we do anything that could get noticed? I’ll bet your friend tries to get validation from work, at home, in her social circle. No one wants to go through life doing things without reward; otherwise, we wouldn’t do anything! Even if you were only blogging to promote the business – it still leads back to the ego. When your business succeeds, so does your economic and social standing (and personal validation that the risk was worth it).

    Some people get their ego stroked from the size of their paycheck, or the number of blog followers, or being the best soccer mom, or the flashy car, etc. It’s all ego-based. At the end of the day, we all want our life to be validated in some way.

  • Christina April 24, 2013 at 9:42 am

    I find that criticism and mean words are usually more telling about the person who dished it out than the person it is directed towards. Unless specifically asked (and even then), people should not say words that would end up hurting someone else. That being said, it is still hard to shrug off a hurtful comment, especially if it hones in on existing insecurity… maybe even harder to hear from a close friend who knows exactly what those insecurities are. Hang in there!

  • Darcy April 24, 2013 at 10:12 am

    wonderful post. and i think about what you just said a lot, but then there are so many forms for seeking validation – isn’t that why we dress nice sometimes, to hear people tell us we look good? how much of the working world is waiting for someone to tell you, “nice job on that brief”, “great memo”, etc. perhaps whether we ignore or it not, a lot of life is seeking validation – the internet and blogs just magnify what’s already there, inside of us.

  • MCC April 24, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Interesting topic and subsequent comments. The wise comments reiterate the “community” aspect of blogging. I will likely never meet you or know any of your readers but I gain a lot of insight from what you and others share here. I appreciate one commenters view that blogging has become a way of curating… I turn to some blogs for advice on style, others for interesting pop culture links, and yours for your beautiful articulation of current day conundrems.

    As for my own blog, I do keep one yet I never talk about it with anyone I know and I keep the comments closed. I choose to do it this way because I knew otherwise I would be swayed to post things that would appeal to people and get “likes” instead of keeping it authentic. My blog, for me, is a creative journal with no intention beyond that.

    Someone asked Elizabeth Lesser what inspired her to be an author and she replied, “I can’t know what I think or feel without writing it down first. Writing is my way through the woods….” Mine too.

    • Jenna April 24, 2013 at 10:41 pm

      Mine too, and that’s why I write because it helps me process things. But, at the same time…why do I need an audience? Would I still write every week if I didn’t?

  • Lani April 24, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    I love this post….it’s the kind of thing I’m always thinking about. Thanks for the thoughtful commentary. Social media is a natural child of our fairly new virtual universe…and it’s not all grown up yet, so I think struggling with it is to be expected. What I’ve noticed is that, for me anyway, coming to grips with the vagaries of mass communication has everything to do with coming to grips with what is inside of me. Granted, there are plenty of ways to do that, but Facebook etc. are in my sphere every day so I figure I might as well look for wisdom where I find the opportunity.

    Thanks so much, Jenna, for once again providing food for thought.

  • Desiree April 24, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Sure maybe your friend has a valid point but blogs and blogging also inspires in many ways. It has given me new close friends and it helps me to keep in touch with friends and family that are far way. Everyone has got Instagram and Facebook, that is even more sources for approval and means of ego boosting. I guess we all need and like a little pat on the shoulder. What is wrong with that? Please keep blogging because love both your pictures and how and what you write about.

  • velika April 24, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    I don’t blog myself, but I think the best blogs offer a meaningful connection, some perspective, and inspiration. For me, the best blogs share a bigger world, new ideas possible experiences, even a model for how to live a little better and more enriching life.

    Modern life can be a little isolating β€”Β it’s nice to find thoughtful connections, even online.

  • lulu April 25, 2013 at 11:29 am

    I dont think you blog for your ego and my number one reason for saying this is: you do not censor your comments sections. Some bloggers just wants positive gushy comments and deletes negative ones but you are open to anything that comes your way.

    • Jenna April 25, 2013 at 11:43 am

      I’ve gotten some slack from a few bloggers about my general policy not to delete any comments (although I have had to delete 2 or 3 over the years because they really did cross the line). I guess my general feeling is that if I am putting myself out there, then I really do need to be able to take whatever comes my way (within some common sense boundaries, of course)

  • Nidhi April 25, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    I’ve been thinking about this along with the act of photographing on film as opposed to instagramming. My blog was always a way to force myself to appreciate analog photography along with documenting. I’ve met some really inspiring people along the way (you! Anna!) but recently I question it’s relevance. We instagram all the time and the shareability of instagram makes me care less about the blog at times. So on some level, the social aspect still manages to trump all the other reasons I shoot film and blog. Maybe it’s just a phase?

    I really appreciate your writing and photos and how you have a knack and candor to articulate things that a lot of us would actually resonate with.

  • Jill April 26, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    I love that you photographed this moment and all of the messy emotions that went along with it. I am going to email you. πŸ™‚

  • Peter Nguyen April 29, 2013 at 8:34 am

    I’ve been questioned, criticised and ridiculed by my love for “social” media and sharing. I was blogging before there was a word for it.

    I understand where your friend is coming from. I’ve had the same questions for myself. Am I seeking outside validation? Why do I feel the need to be so transparent. So opinionated?

    It’s because I don’t know how to not be. It is a calling that I can’t ignore.

    I don’t want to romanticise it, but you, me, many people who chose to blog do so because we are tapping into some evolutionary, tribal programming to want to communicate. It’s just now our tribe is no longer within 5 miles from us, it’s worldwide.

    The trick now is to be conscious of it. Maybe you are seeking validation. Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you think it’s vain. Maybe your friend secretly wants to blog more, but cannot get over the fear of being transparent.

    The only answer I can provide with all of this comes from a quote.

    Krishna said “We have a right to our labor, but not to the fruits of our labor.”

    When you value the process more than the reward it may bring, that’s when you know you are doing something you must.

    If I never got another like. Another heart. Another retweet. I would still be writing, blogging, instagramming, tweeting.

    If I never got another buyer, I would still be filling sketchbooks with designs for clothes, jackets, bags, cutting up pieces of fabric and sewing them on my old janome.

    • Jenna April 29, 2013 at 11:42 am

      Thanks for your comment Peter. Wise words, as always coming from you and you’ve given me a lot to think about.

  • Jennifer Sorel May 16, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Like many other people have said, I think your ability authentic with this blog is amazing. I’ve been reading for years and there is a real human connection that you convey with your writing. Also, your willingness to hear your friend’s comment and have some self reflection about it is inspiring (on a public platform no less). I don’t think we ever stop learning or growing, whether 13 or 53. I think everyone’s ego participates in a little piece in all that we do, that’s what makes us human. Better to accept it and welcome it than to judge it an admonish it. thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚